Connection
by Pumpkingirl
Summary: Jack only wanted to help by bringing Owen back to life, but instead he messed everything up. Now each and every member of the team has to face the consequences of his thoughtless action.  Owen and Jack centered. Jack/Ianto, Owen/Tosh.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Torchwood and its characters, they all belong to Russell T. Davis and the BBC.

**Summary:** Jack finds a way to bring Owen back to life again for a short time. But every action has its consequences... The story is set after the episode 'A Day in the Death', but before 'Something Borrowed'.

**A/N:** Many thanks to loveeleventhdoctor for beta-ing!

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><p><em>"You know, you get to live forever. I get to die forever. It's funny that."<em>

_Owen Harper/'A Day in the Death_'

"We've been through this a couple of times by now, Owen," Jack snapped. "No field trips for you, in your state it's quite out of question! I'm going alone and when I say alone, I mean that no living soul, _or_ dead man is coming with me," he tried to make his point clear for Owen, while he got his coat down the rack and wrapped himself in it.

"But it's just a blowfish, Jack, not the bloody apocalypse!" Owen whined. "Also, you said you've been monitoring him for days and all he's got is a shiny gun he stole from a copper. No technology, no bestial alien house pets he owns, so how could he harm me?"

Owen spoke passionately. He knew it was his only chance to break the monotony his life – or rather his death – had become. He could sense the hesitation in Jack's voice and he was painfully aware that if he didn't break down his defenses in this battle of words, he would have to come to terms with the idea of ending up changing positions with Ianto permanently and since that was his current personal nightmare, he felt it was high time for him to come out with all the good arguments he had up his sleeve.

Hearing his reasoning, Jack turned to him and looked deep into Owen's eyes.

"He can shoot a hole in you with that shiny gun. A hole that never heals," Jack said simply, raising an eyebrow and waiting curiously for the doctor's response.

Owen started to chuckle as if he had heard something incredibly funny.

"Not likely if the poor sod is facing two of that toy."

Jack shook his head disapprovingly and let out a sigh of annoyance before walking out of the office casually, leaving Owen alone and suggesting that he's not willing to continue their pointless fight. Although, he couldn't get rid of Owen that easily. The man was at his heel as Jack strode past the workstations heading for the cogwheel door.

Tosh and Gwen, who'd – the fight being as loud as it was – heard the whole squabble, exchanged a disapproving look as the two men went by. They both shared Jack's point of view when the discussion came to Owen's safety, but knowing Owen they knew it was inevitable for him to push Jack about the matter. They could only hope Jack wasn't going to bend to the doctor's will.

Owen grabbed his coat before he followed Jack down the steps to the door, but he didn't get any further than that, because the Captain turned once more and made Owen come to a halt pressing one hand against his chest.

"Owen, don't you understand?" Jack started. "He doesn't even need a gun to hurt you. He hits you, or kicks you and you get marks on your body you can't just charm away. I would say Torchwood can't afford the bandage, but that wouldn't be true. The truth is, I don't want you to look like a fucked up monster from a cheap horror movie." he explained, hoping Owen would consider his words.

But the person in question was Dr. Owen "Hotheaded" Harper after all, so instead of giving in, he fought back of course, in a tone that suggested he was about to lose his temper.

"Yes, I can get some bruises, but you can't keep me locked in forever, Jack!" he yelled. "Can't you see? I'm doing the same things every day, all the meaningless stuff. My usefulness was thrown out of the window along with my life and it drives me crazy." He lowered his head and pushed his palms against his forehead. "I'm choking in here, I need to do something." he murmured.

"Go for a walk," Jack suggested.

"You're going for a walk. Why can't I go with you?" Owen asked, lifting his head up again.

"I'm driving there actually," Jack said. "According to the computer our frumpy friend is currently wandering around Cardiff University and that's not in the neighborhood. Anyway, what you need now is to clear your head and that's definitely not something you can do in the SUV. Being as jumpy as you are, you'd only get a headache among those lights inside."

"I can't get a headache," Owen reminded him.

But Jack had enough of him already.

"Whatever," he growled with a grim expression, and swinging around he walked out of the Hub.

Owen glanced up at the girls, who observed the situation from the top of the stairs and showed them a grin of smug satisfaction before he scurried after Jack.

"I can't believe Jack gave in," Gwen complained to Tosh with a half disappointed, half surprised look on her face.

"Well, he didn't say he could go, actually," Tosh suggested. "I'm afraid Jack will drive off without him and he'll be out of control all evening."

"No, Tosh." Gwen shook her head. "Owen won this time. Jack wouldn't have allowed him to step out of the Hub if he wasn't going to let him join him tonight. He would have dragged Owen to the Autopsy room and cuffed him to his medical slab if he found it necessary."

"So you think Jack doesn't mind taking Owen with him and he only made a fuss to tease him?" reasoned Tosh.

"Oh, no," answered Gwen seriously. "I think he does mind he has to take him."

Tosh looked at her intrigued. "Then why?" she asked.

"He just can't see him suffer any more."

Gwen finished the sentence at the same time that the cogwheel door clicked to its place.

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

Jack parked the car right in front of the university building. It's just started to rain outside, not heavily, but the drumming of the raindrops on the top of the SUV did the trick for Owen: it replaced the sinister silence that had been lingering around him since Jack got out of the car and shut the door behind him.

They hadn't even had to bother looking around to find their guy, because the blowfish had been kind enough to get himself hit by the SUV as he crossed the pavement on his way to the woody area on the other side of the building.

They didn't have time to ask him if he was hard of hearing or – as Owen guessed – he was simply dumb enough to ignore a big black vehicle approaching him at considerable speed, because after staring at them through the glass for a short moment, the blowfish rubbed itself off the windshield and vamoosed as abruptly as he appeared. Jack didn't waste time either; he jumped out of the car and rushed after his prey.

Owen stayed where he was, squirming in the passenger seat as the feeling of being worthless washed over him stronger than ever before.

"_You can come if you promise me something." Jack had told him back in the car park of the Millennium Center. _

_Owen had just reached for the handle of the car door when he felt Jack's hand on his._

"_Anything," Owen nodded, wondering what the condition would be._

"_You stay in the car. All along," said Jack, still keeping his hand captured, up until the moment he heard Owen's reaction to his offer._

"_I will." Owen promised. "I'll stay in the car."_

And so he was sitting there, watching as the rain washed away the slime the blowfish had left on the windscreen and for a moment he considered himself lucky that Jack hadn't been driving too fast and the alien's brain didn't splash all over the glass, because he guessed his new scope of activities included the cleaning of the SUV too.

Brilliant. One day he dissects and analyses alien corpses using rubber gloves, the next he only gets near to their body fluids when he is forced to wipe them off of a car with some ragged cloth. He really hated his prospects for the future right now and was grateful for the rain, which was doing at least some of the cleaning job instead of him this time.

Minutes passed and there was still no sign of Jack, or the blowfish. Owen didn't want to break his promise, but he really wondered what was going on amongst those trees far ahead of him.

The bad weather made outside hide-and-seek hard, though he knew it wasn't really Jack's choice to play the game. Moreover, in a confrontation between a human and a half fish creature rain was a definite disadvantage for the human. He could imagine how Jack's range of vision narrowed in that downpour outside and he didn't doubt for a second the blowfish would benefit from it.

Owen knew that Jack could take care of himself, but he still thought they could finish this mission much easier if he was by his boss' side. Slowly, as another three minutes went by that he spent tapping his fingers on the car's control panel, he convinced himself that there wasn't any point of sitting on his butt any more.

Owen had always thought Jack knew him well; he'd been more than surprised the Captain had made him promise to stay put anyway. Jack should have known there were two things Owen Harper rarely did: the first was apologies, and the second, keeping promises. So why had Jack asked…

Suddenly, three gunshots sounded, cutting his train of thoughts. They were coming from the distance, but he could hear them clearly. He couldn't see through the glass anymore because the rain blurred the surface of the windscreen. If Owen had still been alive, he was sure his heart would have been hammering in his chest. All of a sudden he felt a strong urge to find out what happened, so he pushed the car's door open.

"Fuck that promise, Jack. If you got yourself killed I…" he mumbled as he pulled his gun out of its holster and ran until he reached the front side wall of the university, looking desperately for figures in the dark ahead of him.

The only brightness came from the floodlit façade of the building, which didn't expand to the level of the ground floor, so Owen felt relatively safe in the semi-darkness. He slowed his pace as he went on beside the wall, silently approaching the side of the building while he listened carefully for any sound of movement.

By the time he was only a few steps away from the corner of the building, he could make out two voices and this fact itself filled him with confidence and relief. It wasn't the sharp sputter he heard first that took the weight off his mind, rather the smooth, yet firm tone that answered to it. Owen flattened himself against the wall just about the corner and let out a breathless sigh. Jack was still very much alive.

"Why don't you make this easy for both of us, and come with me voluntarily?" asked Jack, pointing his gun at the alien.

The blowfish stood a few meters away, his figure half covered in the gathering mist that slowly descended with the rain. His position was the same as Jack's – gun targeting the loathed human in front of him, gills stiffened in concentration.

"You wish," he bubbled. "You think you're saving your planet by capturing us one by one, but you know how you would do the whole Universe a _real_ favour?" his voice was full of contempt as he gave the answer to his own question: "If you'd lock _yourself _into one of your rotten cells, human filth…"

"Hey, I'm trying to be kind here and that's what I get back…," Jack endeavored to sound as if he was offended, then abruptly changed to a much flatter tone. "But I tell you what, fishy fish: bombarding my self-confidence won't work. I'm afraid that's unshakeable."

"I would still try and see if a bullet can shake it up. I bet nobody has attempted to break it this way yet," the fish talked back spitting out some slime and saliva along with the words.

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Jack gave him a wide grin.

Meanwhile, Owen managed to peek out from behind his shelter without being noticed and estimated his chances for a lucky shot. Unfortunately having Jack's back and the blowfish's face turned to his direction he realized that if the situation required him to shoot, he'd have only one chance to take the fish down before it'd have time to fire its gun. Although he wasn't about to swing into action until it became really necessary, Owen kept gripping his revolver, waiting without a sound beyond the corner.


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't have time for you and your little games, so decide now, Torchwood guy. Let me go, or die. What is your answer?" Owen heard the fish asking.

"Let's see," Jack mused. "My boyfriend gets incredibly upset every time I die. Although, I have to mention here…" he raised up his free hand with his index finger pointing up "… that he loves the taste of blood on my skin that lingers there for a while after the wound heals. On the other hand,' he gestured again with his hand in the air, 'he hates when my shirts get messed up and if my coat gets blood stains on it. So all in all that means if anyone dies here, that will be you. But you still have that other option of course..."

"_Oh, you idiot, you know he won't take that option, they never do," _Owen thought. He was pissed off, because he sensed that Jack still didn't intend to shoot. He ventured another look at the two figures and ascertained that the fish was already so nervous that he could lose his head any time – at least that was what his trembling scaly hands suggested. Owen prepared to reveal himself, but he still waited for one more response from the alien.

"Fuck your options!" spat the fish and Owen – after deciding it was the wrong answer he was waiting for – jumped out from behind the wall. He took aim and he could already see how perfectly this hunt was going to turn out.

Before he would have fired he heard Jack shouting his name, which was okay – the Captain was allowed to be surprised, because he obviously hadn't counted on him to appear –, but then Owen heard something else too: a car's tire screeched on a street near to them and it was such an unexpected sound that it made Owen confused for a tiny second. His head automatically started to turn away to the direction from where he had heard the noise and it took him a short moment to remind himself what he was about to do.

But this little gap in his concentration gave the blowfish the chance to take advantage of the situation, which he did without hesitation.

The sound of the gunshot rang through Owen's ears. He saw the blowfish buzzing off towards the back of the building and Owen pulled the trigger a couple of times after it, but it was a sheer waste of bullets and time. Normally, he would have sprinted after the prey immediately, but now he had a far bigger problem to deal with – Jack was down.

Owen ran to the Captain, who lay on the wet lawn, pushing his hands to his stomach. His shirt was already soaked with blood; it was trickling through his fingers, colouring the pale skin of his hand dark red as it dripped down on it.

"Owen," Jack breathed.

Owen gingerly lifted Jack's upper body from the ground and pulled him close to his chest, supporting the man's back on his thighs as he squatted. He put his hand over Jack's to help increase the pressure on the wound.

"I'm sorry, Jack, God, I'm so sorry. I screwed this up," he babbled.

"Kinda.. aah," Jack winced from the pain, but he managed to pull a faint smile too. "At least there was no real damage."

"Oh, really? What do you call that, then?" Owen gestured towards Jack's injury with his head.

Jack cried out in pain again as Owen pushed his hand harder over the wound.

"I'm really sorry mate, but you're bleeding too much. We've got to get you back to the Hub," Owen said, eager to rise to the emergency, even though he was aware he actually couldn't do anything for Jack.

"Nah." Jack protested. "You're the doctor and I have to tell you that I've got minutes left? Come on, Owen… Besides, I can't move, because it hurts like hell."

"I know it hurts, but I'll have to move you. We can still save you, we can do it, but we have to go now! You lived and died through two bloody world wars, Harkness, don't you say that you can't handle a stomach wound!"

Owen's nerves were frayed by now and Jack wished he could see his face properly, but the shadows that were dancing in front of his own eyes made it impossible.

"I'm coming back, Owen." he reassured the doctor.

"I know," Owen's voice was full of despair. "But I want to help. I want to be useful. I'm so useless, Jack. Why can't we just simply change places? I want to die instead of you. I really do."

"No, you don't Owen," Jack said weakly and then added: "But I think if not specifically places, but changing states might be possible for us."

"What do you mean?" Owen questioned, his voice hoarse.

"I have a theory, but I hardly have time to explain it now, so let's just say you can help with something," Jack muttered.

"How?" Owen asked.

Jack's breathing was shallow and his voice became more and more distant.

"I could really use some comfort right now, Owen. Would you kiss me?"

Owen formed the words quite slowly, his eyes wide in surprise.

"You... really want me to… snog you?"

"I feel I'm slipping away, Owen, it's just a matter of seconds. You said you want to help. Make a dying man's wish come true, then."

Jack's normally smooth features distorted with pain as he talked.

"You're coming back," Owen reminded him.

"Please, Owen. It hurts so much." Jack pleaded, his voice noticeably deeper from agony.

At this point Owen couldn't think straight anymore. Jack's body was tense in his arms, the man was truly suffering and it was, beyond question, all Owen's fault.

The request, Owen thought, wasn't so weird considering that it came from Jack Harkness and besides, Owen really wanted to help. If this was the only way he could, he was willing to do it.

"Okay," he nodded eventually. "Okay."

He cupped Jack's cheek and leaned over him, capturing the Captain's mouth with his. He meant to give him a gentle, heartening kiss, but apparently Jack had another idea, because putting one hand on Owen's nape, he pulled him down to deepen the kiss. Owen wasn't really surprised when, as a next step, Jack pushed his tongue into his mouth moaning in pain, or pleasure – Owen wasn't sure which. However, the intimate moment didn't last long, because as quickly as Jack became passionate, he slowed down, until finally he stopped in the middle of action.

Owen realized only moments later that his sweet gesture was not being returned any more, but he had a very good reason as to why he got lost in the kiss and it was that he could actually _taste_ Jack. He didn't just feel the shape of the Captain's teeth when he brushed his tongue against them, he didn't only feel that Jack's effort of staying conscious became weaker and weaker as he kissed him, no; Owen could without doubt sense the flavour of the coffee in Jack's mouth the man had drank in the Hub before they came here.

It had been weeks since the last time Owen could feel the taste of coffee, let alone anything else, so now he couldn't help, but cling his lips to Jack's and explore his mouth with his tongue like somebody who's just found a bottle full of water after days of thirst.

But then he realized what he was doing and suddenly broke the one-sided kiss. He sat up straight, still holding Jack tight, but not as close as before and tried hard not to look at him. He felt dirty as he was struggling with the urge to snog a corpse – because it didn't matter that Jack was going to come back, he was really just a lifeless body at the moment.

Fortunately – or unfortunately – his attention from Jack was drawn away in a second as multiple sensations found him at the same time. If it was at all possible before, now it became absolutely impossible to pull himself together, but the thing was, he wasn't even sure he wanted to anymore. Because all of a sudden he began to _feel_ the wind on his skin and after a long time he was able to _smell_ again – it was the first time when Owen Harper didn't mind the odour of wet grass filling his nose. As a matter of fact he became aware of the wetness of the backside of his jeans just now, of how it stuck to his skin as he was sitting on the rain-soaked lawn. He wasn't just aware of the rain pouring over him anymore, he actually _felt_ as the raindrops contacted with the top of his head.

He realized he was holding Jack's hand again, but this touch was a whole different feeling now too compared to how he'd held it a moment ago; he could sense the texture of Jack's skin and the temperature of it too. God, he was ice cold…

And then he thought about something. He rose his palm up in front of his mouth and breathed on it. His breath was warm. _He had _breath.

"It's impossible," he muttered to himself, his jaw almost dropping to the ground as a result of his revelation. "It's bloooody impossible!"

He'd gotten back his senses and all of a sudden every inch of his body seemed to operate as it was supposed to. Owen held possession of the pure essentials of life once again, which was a terrific experience for him in both senses of the word.

There was only one thing left he hasn't checked. He breathed in a lungful of air and blew it out slowly before he placed two shaking fingers over the carotid artery on his neck to get his final proof and...

… and the next second a massive shadow encircled him and a loud yelp escaped his mouth. It was in perfect sync with another distorted, but somewhat human sound that sent shivers down his spine.

Owen was shaking like a leaf and failed to remember where he was for a second, but then the weight disappeared from his lap and he put the pieces together.

"Ahh, that was tough," Jack declared as he got on his feet in front of Owen. Apart from the messy clothes, he was right as rain and in spite of the fact he'd been dead a moment ago he seemed to be in quite a good mood. "You're planning to stay there all night?" he put the question to Owen, who was still sitting on the lawn, pale as a ghost.

"Jesus, Jack, you almost gave me a heart attack!" he tutted.

"That's all right I guess, because you can't have one," shrugged Jack. "Are you coming, or do you want to have a picnic? I have to warn you though, if you choose the latter you're gonna miss my company, because a pair of nice, but most importantly dry pants, that are located somewhere in the Hub, just can't wait to get on me and I don't have the intention of keeping 'em waiting…"

But Owen didn't listen to any of Jack's chattering. He jumped to his feet and grabbed the man by the wrist.

"You _could_ give me a heart attack actually, because I have a heartbeat." Owen didn't even look at Jack, he was looking downwards and he kept grinning to himself at the incredible realization that's just hit him. "I really do have a heartbeat," he repeated, this time whispering, like he was passing on a secret.

"You do have a what?" Jack asked, his voice more curious than surprised.

"Here, I'll show you," Owen said taking Jack's index and middle finger and putting them to the right spot on his neck. "Feel that?"

"I'm sorry, Owen, but I don' know what you're talking about. I feel absolutely nothing." Jack reported after a few seconds.

Owen took his pulse himself again, and found none.

"Shit, it's gone. I can't believe it!" he kicked over the grass angrily, like he was kicking an invisible ball. "I can't feel that bloody wet spot on my bloody trousers either! Oh, sod it!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jack put a hand on Owen's shoulder. "Calm down, okay?"

Owen stopped kicking the grass, but he still looked like as if he was about to blow up with fury.

"So you say your heart beat while I was out dead…?" Jack asked him.

Owen nodded. "And it wasn't just my heart. I got my senses back too. I could taste and smell and touch properly."

"Whoa," Jack smiled at Owen. "I never thought it could really work…"

"What would work?" Owen asked looking perplexed. "What if you talked sense once, Jack?"

"If you wish, but it's not that easy at midnight and especially not after resurrecting from a violent death." said Jack, speaking louder as the rain kept thundering down on them. "I told you I had a theory and today the time has come for some experimenting, because at last you and me were at the same place when I happened to die. As you could see, the experiment involved some inconvenience for me and some pleasure – I'm sure it was – for you."

"It was the kiss, was it?" Owen started to understand why he was asked to do it.

"Yes," Jack approved. "It was something to do with the kiss. But I won't tell the rest of your bedtime story until I feel the SUV moving under me, because I'm really afraid we'll both get hypothermia if we spend a minute more in this wretched cloudburst… "

Owen saw his point, so they ended up racing each other as far as the car and felt the same contentment when, with the engine coming to life, Jack turned up the heating to maximum as well.

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><p><strong>AN:** _I hope you enjoyed the first two chapter! Reviews are very much appreciated! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

"I got the idea on the third day after the incident with the glove," Jack started as he swung the car out of the roundabout and onto the road. "Remember what you told me when I sent you home? "_You get to live forever and I get to die forever"_," he cited Owen's words." This remark of yours proved to be quite thought-provoking in the end…"

"Oh, blimey, I turned Jack Harkness into a philosopher. If they publish books under your name in the future, I insist we split the money you make of it." Owen jested, but deep inside he couldn't wait for Jack to get to the point.

Jack simply ignored him and went on:

"You made me realize how similar we'd become now that you had gone through that change..."

"I don't mean to question your interpreting skills, Jack," Owen interjected, "but I reckon that sentence means we couldn't be more different from each other, because we became contrasts to one another."

Jack shook his head and tried to explain himself;

"When I say similar, I mean we are both paradox beings and our existence is beyond natural," he expounded.

"Pompous words" Owen said, running his fingers through his hair, wondering if they would ever get to somewhere with this conversation.

"They are," Jack agreed, "but they are also true. You were right when you say we became opposites. Let's just make it simple and let's say there are two sides: Life and Death. I am Life – don't you dare saying I'm cocky, I really am in a sense, you'll see… – and you are Death."

"How many more times do I have to tell you, Harkness, that I'm not Death, I'm dead. They aren't the same." Owen hissed.

"Okay, you're saying something," Jack gave in. "We'll get back to this question in a minute," he promised and went on: "Generally speaking then, if Life and Death are contrasting poles what happens when the two of them encounter at a certain point – which, by the way occurs once in everyone's life?"

"I guess they neutralize each other," Owen shrugged. "We know what is on the other side. You get trapped in the dark, but you are fully conscious. You get a bit of both life and death and at the same time you get nothing of either of them."

"Exactly," Jack said eagerly, trying to focus on the conversation and on the road at the same time. "Life and death can't affect each other, because each of them is equally powerful," he reasoned. "Now let's get back to us. You say you are not death; you are just dead, all right. Then let's suppose I'm life and there is death – the other pole – and then there is you in a state between life and death. Got it so far?"

"Yep, I'm following," Owen reported, observing Jack's face while he listened.

"The thing is," Jack said, "that in our case – if we say I'm life and the other pole is death – the two sides are not really contrasting each other, because I'm able to beat death. I'm more powerful and I'm not just surviving, but I'm also capable of giving life energy, as we know."

"With making a contact that is created with the kiss," Owen figured.

"Oh, I see you're getting the hang of it," Jack flashed a huge grin at him.

Only that grin disappeared when Owen asked the first question that popped up in his mind:

"So if you'd snog me again while focusing really hard to transfer enough life energy to me … I could come back to life?"

Jack shook his head. "Okay, I take back what I'd said before, you totally don't get it. It's not as easy as that. I can give life force, but I can't resurrect the dead for good, Owen. I may be a fixed point in time and space, which besides the loads of disadvantages seems to have a bright side as well, but I'm still far from being Jesus Christ after all…"

Owen slowly started to understand.

"Before you died, you said we can change states," he mused. "That's the key, isn't it? You have to hop the stick, so I can live."

Jack stopped the car at a red traffic light and turned to Owen.

"In a certain moment when I'm on the edge of life, but still not dead, in the moment when an ordinary person says goodbye to life and welcomes death, life energy somehow concentrates in me. That's the only time I can give enough for a dead man to live," he explained.

"Your last breath can give life..." Owen let out a whistle, showing he was impressed by this. "Cool."

"Isn't it?" Jack smiled as he pushed his foot down on the accelerator again. "The only problem is that it is temporary. It only lasts as long as I'm on the other side."

Owen's face clouded in an instant.

"Then the tables get turned and everything goes back to normal – or at least what we are supposed to call normal these days." Owen finished the thought instead of Jack, clearly not liking what he heard from his own mouth, because once he ended the sentence he pulled his fingers over his lips.

"I'm sorry, Owen," Jack said truthfully. "I'd hoped the miracle would happen if we ever tried this, but apparently it didn't."

"No, no, it's okay," Owen tried to reassure Jack, though he didn't feel it was okay at all. He flinched before he talked again. "Either way, you gave me an amazing gift tonight, Jack." He put his messy hand on the Captain's shoulder and gulped once before faltering out the simple word: "Thanks!"

"You're welcome," Jack said.

"It's good to know that at least it's not impossible for me to experience again what it's like to be alive." Owen sighed.

"Yeah," agreed Jack, smiling somewhat sad at the windscreen.

"Too bad it is meant to be the result of your death." Owen was examining Jack's profile as he talked. There was dried blood in the man's hair and also some of it smudged across his face. All the traces and marks of Owen's palm and fingers that had wandered on Jack's cheek during their kiss were showing, proving what they both had gone through hadn't been a delusion at all, like it felt as they were sitting in the heated car for a while then.

Suddenly Owen became frightened and disgusted of what he'd heard and wished the night's events just hadn't happened. He didn't exactly know why, but he couldn't stop staring at Jack's bloody face, strangely illuminated as it was by the blue lights of the SUV.

He couldn't make the horrible intuition he had go away either, and he wished he was able to throw up, because the thought that was bothering him was so stomach-turning, it hurt.

"I guess nothing's perfect in this world…" he heard Jack saying.

"Nothing's perfect," Owen repeated after him. He turned his head away to look out of the window, to watch how the evening lights of Cardiff became a blur as they swept by them.

Both men were silent for the rest of the journey.

T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D

Half an hour later, Owen went his last round in the Hub gathering empty mugs and waste from the workstations. The girls were gone by the time they got back from the abortive hunting trip, but he found a note on Tosh's desk with his name on it. _If something's wrong, you know where to find me, _it said, in the neat handwriting of the Japanese girl and it was signed carefully with a faint x by the name.

If it was any other day, Owen would have thrown it straight into the paper bin, but now, though he wasn't sure why, he folded the little paper in two and slipped it in his back pocket as he continued his tour around the place.

Ianto was nowhere to be seen either; he must have spent his time somewhere down in the vaults in one of his special chambers doing the washing, ironing and other stuff teaboys did in the middle of the night for the sake of keeping their boyfriend natty and dapper all the time. As for Jack, he' retreated back to his office right after they arrived and Owen hadn't seen him since.

While Owen did the washing up, paying attention to keep the right order among the cups on the shelf to avoid a chain of complaints from Ianto later, he went through the events of the night again in his mind, recalling the moment Jack was shot, along with his few minutes of life that followed.

He'd tried to come to terms with the fact that that was just it, that it couldn't be repeated without Jack being hurt, but he failed. Now that he ascertained there was one way to change him back, he desperately believed there had to be other possibilities too. He reconsidered every word Jack told him in the SUV, looking for a detail the Captain missed in his theory, a back door he could use and his thoughts always led him back to one element that wasn't solid enough in the whole idea.

When he was finished in the kitchen he headed for Jack's office, hoping he'd still find him in good spirits, so he could carry out his plan without having to plead; Owen was sure he'd rather give up on the whole thing than sink that low.

When he stepped in the Captain's area, he found Jack leaning over his table, supporting himself on both elbows while engrossed in a file. To Owen's surprise he was still wearing the blood stained shirt, though he had fresh trousers on and his face looked a bit cleaner too.

"Umm…" Owen hummed to attract Jack's attention. Jack glanced up at him, his eyes encouraging him to speak.

"I'm off," Owen announced and then he frowned to himself – why on earth he came up with a line that was only good for finishing a chat instead of jerking it?

"Good night, Owen," Jack said turning back to his paper. "Drive safely, mind drunken Weevils and lolloping people…" he lifted his head again and thought about that for a second. "… Oh, wait it's the other way around. Never mind. Don't hit anybody."

Owen took a step closer to the desk.

"You see, Jack, I was thinking and I'd like you to tell me something before I go…" he hesitated a bit.

Jack straightened up, showing some real interest in Owen for the first time since they returned to the base.

"Ask away," he said.

"Tell me, Jack, how do you know that a casual snog wouldn't work on me?" Owen asked. "I mean it's not something we do every day and therefore you can't be sure I wouldn't live again if you kissed me right now without dying…"

Jack shook his head. "Believe me, it wouldn't work."

"You haven't answered my question," Owen pushed. "How can you be so positive about it? We haven't tried it, have we?"

"Please, try to understand it, Owen, I can't give you enough life energy with a simple kiss." Jack stated firmly. "I don't _know_ it, I _feel_ it. Not if I'd concentrate as much as I can, not if we'd do it standing on our heads, not ever. There isn't a trick to it we could use, I'm sorry."

Jack clearly hoped he could make Owen give up by putting enough confidence in his talk, but Owen had a plan and he was hell-bent on going through with it.

"I want proof" he declared. "I need to make sure myself whether it works or not, because the possibility will nag at my mind forever if I don't."

"And your proof would be a kiss, right here, right now," Jack guessed.

"Will you let me do it?"

"Ohohoh, look, he even asks for permission…" Jack was clearly enjoying himself. "Well, if that's the only thing that'll give you peace – that'll give me peace from you –, then who I am to forbid you to do it? As a matter of fact knowing you as the act before talk later type, it is quite strange you haven't gone for it already…"

Owen didn't waste time; he'd heard what he was waiting for. He stepped close to Jack and grabbed the collar of the man's shirt.

"Shut it, Harkness, and let's get it over with, then!" he said.

Owen went up on his tiptoes, because Jack looked like he was frozen down and wouldn't have leant his head to give Owen easier access to his mouth. The roles they'd played at the time of their first kiss swapped around the second time: Jack's expectations of how a short and gentle kiss would give satisfaction to Owen caved in the moment the doctor's lips met his.

Owen was so fierce he literally forced Jack to kiss him back, pulling him in with one hand pressed to the back of his head. Jack made himself relax and let Owen control him. He knew it was a matter of seconds till Owen realized the efforts he was making were completely useless.

Owen desperately tried to feel around for any changes in his body as he kissed Jack, but found nothing. This time he wasn't able to taste; he felt the pressure of Jack's tongue against his and that was it. He couldn't smell the Captain's 51th century scent either; the dumb insensitivity that defined Owen's new entity remained, no matter how passionately he tried to suck some energy out of Jack.

But he was far from giving it up yet, not until he had a chance to go on, not until Jack didn't show any intention to push him off himself.

So they just stood there, snogging in the middle of the office like two teenagers: Owen cupping Jack's nape, while Jack was holding on Owen's upper arms, and probably would have stayed like that for minutes, if a noise coming from the door didn't bring them back to reality.

Ianto had been standing at the frame of the glass door for a while, carrying a pile of freshly ironed shirts in his hands. He'd needed a couple of seconds, to overcome the shock he got from the view he'd stepped in to and to be able to clear his throat – actually he was surprised there was still enough air in his lungs to do that. His mouth formed an 'O' and he rolled his eyes as he saw the other two jump away from each other after noticing his presence.

"Ianto, it's not what you're thinking!" Jack asserted immediately, reaching his arm out with his palm up towards his lover.

Owen was still standing there like a statue, touching his lips with his fingers. He felt as horrible as Jack did. Suddenly he murmured something that nor Jack neither Ianto understood and he started off towards the door, face turned to the floor to avoid eye-contact with the other two, but Jack stopped him closing his fingers around Owen's arm. "Anything?" he asked, keeping one eye on the still motionless Ianto.

Finally Owen looked up at him. "Nothing," he said shaking his head, his expression filled with disappointment. Then he rushed past Ianto and within a few minutes they heard him leave the Hub.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**** I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think, I really could use some constructive criticism! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

"It's _really_ not what you're thinking, Ianto!" Jack struggled to make his boy understand the situation. He was standing over his bedroom bunker, waiting for Ianto to emerge.

"It's okay, there's no need to explain yourself," came the young man's voice with a touch of echo to it before his head appeared beyond ground level. He climbed out with a single, deep blue shirt in his hand and made his way to the desk, ignoring Jack, who followed him.

"I only came to put your clothes away and neaten your desk, then I'm leaving too," he said, putting the shirt down. He started rummaging with the papers, but Jack saw over his shoulder that he'd just messed them up instead of putting them in order.

"Let me tell you what happened," he pleaded putting one hand on the boy's shoulder.

But Ianto shrugged it off immediately, still staring down at the desk.

Jack pulled a little smile. "Jesus, I'd never thought you can be this jealous…"

Abruptly Ianto swung around and faced him.

"You talk like you didn't give me a reason." he huffed. His dimples were flushed with anger and disappointment, but these weren't the only emotions Jack could read off his face; the Captain detected a trace of fear there, too.

Jack assessed Ianto was truly hurt, but not because the fact his lover had kissed another man, but because for the boy it meant the possibility of losing Jack's love and care forever. Jack's heart was melting from this discovery and he wanted to let Ianto know that, but when he attempted to cup his cheek, the Welshman turned back to the table as if realizing he had just revealed his soul to the Jack.

"I've always tried to make myself believe I'm not one of your boy-toys," Ianto sighed, lifting up things from the desk pointlessly, just to put them down again a moment later.

"I'm making something very badly if you have to convince yourself about it." Jack said as he leaned against his desk with his backside next to Ianto.

"I'm going home," Ianto suddenly declared, looking up at Jack again, his mouth quivering.

"This is your home," the Captain replied gazing right into the man's eyes. "And believe me, Ianto, you may be angry right now, but I bet if you listen to what I want to tell you, you won't just stay, but you'll also let me fuck you tonight, long and hard."

Ianto laughed bitterly. "After what I saw a few minutes ago? Well, you can fuck yourself, Jack! Or Owen, if you fancy him that much. I don't care."

"So you don't believe I can persuade you I didn't kiss Owen for my enjoyment?" Jack asked.

"No," the young man shook his head wearing an extremely sad expression; apparently he didn't like he had to say that.

"But you'll listen to me, won't you?" Jack wanted to know.

"I will," Ianto caved in, mirroring Jack's position, making himself comfortable physically at least if he couldn't otherwise. "But only because I'd like to see what you can come up with when a situation requires you to lie."

"I'm telling you the truth and I'm sure you're smart enough to put the pieces together and so believe every word I'm saying," Jack seemed confident. "Listen carefully and when I'm finished you can call me a liar if you still want to…"

Jack told him everything from the beginning to the end. How he'd let Owen go with him, how the doctor had broken his promise, how it had led to the 'accident' and to the chance to experiment. He went into details about the theory, which wasn't a theory anymore and told him about the first kiss – the part he remembered anyway. After a while Ianto started to ask questions, in fact he asked exactly the same ones that Owen had in the SUV.

Soon Jack was about to come to the point and tell why they had been caught kissing again, but Ianto forestalled him:

"He wanted to know if a simple kiss presented the same result," he said grinning, being proud of himself for having an 'aha moment'.

"I love your quick mind," said Jack, happy to see his sweetheart smile again and also that he hadn't had to explain the rest himself.

The Welshman stepped in front of him, looking serious.

"I remember when you took me back… when Lisa…," he stammered, but the words got caught in his throat – it was the case every time he started a sentence that included his late girlfriend's name.

He shook his head a little and knowing Jack got the hint about the time he was thinking about anyway, he went on: "I was in the dark. I was so scared and I thought I would never know anything else…" he paused a bit here letting out a sigh as if trying to get rid of the memory of the traumatic experience. When he talked again he looked a bit relieved: "The next thing I can recall is seeing your handsome face over mine. But before that, it was just the dark and it was never ending."

"I know," said the Captain, reaching out to pull Ianto into a hug, because he reckoned the man was now willing to let him do so, but he was wrong. Ianto pushed his hand away. He didn't do it rudely, but he made it clear he had something else to say before they would have stepped to another level.

"Yes, I know you do," the young man said. "There is no one else who'd know the difference between life and death better. And that's why I dare to call you an idiot for what you had done to Owen today."

"Why would I be an idiot for giving him a few happy minutes?" Jack looked astonished.

"Because now he'll be yearning for more, that's why," Ianto tried to keep his voice calm, while he would have rather burst out, because the thought that found him was too worrying; it was hard to hold himself back from doing so. "Ahh, I see. You still have no idea what Owen has to handle because of you and what danger you'd put yourself in?" Ianto groaned, observing Jack's innocent-looking face.

"Enlighten me!" Jack asked him.

Ianto collected his words very carefully, hoping there will be no need to tell what he thought point blank.

"You gave Owen a temptation that might be stronger than him. Instinct for life is the most intensive characteristic of all beings, Jack. What if Owen will not be able to swim against the stream? What if he won't be able to fight the urge that suggests him to take what he needs?"

Jack finally got Ianto's point, but he found it a bit ridiculous.

"You don't really think Owen could hurt me, do you?" he asked, taking his lover's hand.

Ianto eventually let himself being enveloped in Jack's arms. He held on the Captain tight for a moment.

"I don't know what to think, cariad, but I'm worried about both you and him." he murmured into Jack's ear. "I don't think you did the right thing showing him what you had found out."

"He'll be fine," Jack reassured him. "And so will I."

"I hope you're right," Ianto breathed against Jack's neck but the older man shushed him.

They were holding each other for minutes without talking before Ianto pulled back to take a proper look at the only sign of harm that remained on Jack: the stain on his shirt.

"I hate when you get shot," he put his fingers on the huge mark of dried blood on the material.

"Here," said Jack, pulling his shirt out of his trousers and undoing the last few buttons on it. He took Ianto's left hand and laid it on his belly right onto the spot where he'd been shot. "It came in here…" he told before taking his other hand and placing it onto another area on his back, a few inches over the belt. "… and left here." He let Ianto rest his palms over the once damaged skin and kissed him on the mouth gently while he did.

He loosened his lover's tie and pulled it over his head before going on, taking his time with the buttons of the waistcoat and shirt. Meanwhile Ianto was stroking and caressing his chest and once in a while he 'accidentally' pushed his hips to Jack's to call the man's attention how hard he was already.

Jack bent forward a bit to have a better access to Ianto's right nipple. He drew lazy circles around it with his tongue and sucked on it every time the young man blew the air out of his lungs.

He felt Ianto's fingers playing vaguely with his hair and it made him remember how messy his hair looked with all the speckles of dried blood in it he couldn't have simply wiped out with a kleenex, not to mention what the rain had done to it… He straightened up and pulled Ianto into another kiss.

"Come, have a shower with me," Jack whispered against the Welshman's lips. "All I need now is you and a post coital hair washing."

"I'm up for the job," Ianto enthused. He also let out moan as the older man made his hard erection brush against his.

"I can feel that, Ianto Jones," Jack teased him before he abruptly encircled one hand around his lover's arm, picked up the fresh tee from the desk and as half-stripped as Ianto was, Jack dragged him after himself in the direction of the showers.


	5. Chapter 5

Owen Harper was fully aware of what a bastard he was for not saving Jack's ass in front of Ianto after what he'd went through for him that night, but the panic the failed attempt generated had overwhelmed him and his body had reacted more quickly than his mind had. It was like as if he'd been in a trance; one moment he was in Jack's office and in the next he found himself leaning against the rail in the bay staring into the fog that ascended onto Cardiff to keep the city in misery after the raining had stopped.

Once Owen was out in the fresh air and he awoke to how he – even though involuntarily – had just torpedoed Jack's trustworthiness in Ianto's eyes, he was seriously considering turning right back and set things straight, but something was keeping him from doing so. He felt jaded and tired as much as a man without a nervous system could and he was slightly freaked out by the result of the second snog with Jack.

He expected to welcome life back so much, even for a split second, even if it was just a tiny glimpse of it, but then he was left with nothing and now he felt terrible. Suddenly he found himself calculating approximately how often Jack happened to die and it took him a great while to make himself stop. For Gods sake, was he really looking forward to the next time Jack bit the dust? The idea was sickening. He imagined himself following Jack like a shadow, like a shrewd thief of life, waiting for fate to strike and then…

He shook his head and pulled his jacket tighter on him. _No more lunatic thoughts, _he decided as he hardened his grip on the rail. He could only hope his hand wouldn't freeze to the metal if he kept hold on to it for some time, because he wasn't sure about the current temperature of the iron bar. It was early spring, but only according to the calendar; the weather in Cardiff was more unpredictable than ever in those days. Suddenly he vaguely remembered how he had felt the wetness of his trousers sitting on the lawn and he half-knowingly reached to his backside as if he could check if the material dried already.

While he tapped his bottom, he found Tosh's note in his pocket. _If something's wrong, you know where to find me, _he read again and as with sudden determination he shot off to cross Roald Dahl Plass once again.

He felt like walking instead of driving just for this once and therefore he kept wandering on the streets of Cardiff until he got to the suburban area he was aiming for. It was a fairly clean part of the city with small, but friendly houses that stood in neat rows for streets and streets ahead.

The street lamps were already switched off, but Owen's eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness as he walked forward. A dog was barking at the moon somewhere, but otherwise everything was utterly peaceful.

Owen turned left at some point and kept going till he arrived to the very last house on the row. Where the pavement ended, giant oaks blocked the way – Tosh lived at the edge of a huge park that was clearly established to create a livable environment for families with children. Owen had been there once before, when Tosh had been off sick and she hadn't been answering her phone, so Jack had sent Owen to check on her.

Owen recalled how the park had been filled with screaming kids and shouting parents and how – due to the unbearable noise – he'd promised himself he won't ever be a father, until he had managed to cross the lawn and got to Tosh's house. He didn't understand why Tosh lived there. She was such an outsider at the place: she was single and she wasn't retired either, besides she missed the sociability an environment like that required. He reckoned Tosh should have lived in the inner city where she'd have had the chance to meet some nice and single geek bloke at her age who would take her to dance and pour some confidence in her.

If anyone, Tosh surely deserved happiness and Owen hoped she found it soon. He knew that the girl fancied him and in the past weeks he'd begun to regret not noticing it before, but being in the state he was, Tosh would only waste her time if he let her get close to him and that was the last thing Owen wanted, that was why he kept pushing her away, because she deserved someone who could make her happy, something he knew he couldn't do.

But there he was, walking around Tosh's place, looking for any sign of her being still up at this late hour. He needed to talk, to share his experiences of the night with someone who listened and Tosh was the perfect subject for it.

Eventually he stopped under the bedroom's window. The light was on inside and he was sure he saw a shadow move behind the curtain. Owen didn't feel like walking all the way back to the front door to use the doorbell, so instead he just picked up a tiny pebble from the yard and threw it at the window to make himself noticed. He, of course, flung it carefully enough not to scratch the glass, but with enough force to make a sound.

It worked, but it took time. Only after the third pebble hit the window was that Tosh finally realized the noise was made deliberately and looked out to see who was playing the silly game.

When she made out Owen's figure under, she turned the handle and pulled the window open.

"Hey, Tosh, you're looking good," Owen yelled up. "Fancy a walk?"

Tosh wasn't quite sure she'd heard Owen's words right. She turned her head to read the time from the clock on the bedside table before looking down at the doctor again.

"It's 2 am, Owen," she said, pushing a black lock away from her face.

"I know," Owen shrugged. "But I guess we wouldn't talk now if you'd have been sleepy."

"I'm in my pyjamas," Tosh noted, though she was almost sure Owen would ward this argument off easily. She was right.

"Yeah, I see that," Owen grinned up at her. "I've told you you're looking good, haven't I? Although it's cold outside, so you'd better change into something warmer."

Tosh sighed deeply and gave in smiling:

"I'll be with you in a minute. Don't go anywhere!"

Owen waited till she closed the window and walked back to the street. A few minutes later he heard the front door click to its place and Tosh joined him, her hands pushed into her coat pocket.

"So, how was the blowfish hunting?" she asked when they were already walking on a path in the park which looked less of a nightmare to Owen now being empty and tranquil as it was.

"Oh, that got away," Owen answered looking into the mist in front of him.

"I'm sorry," Tosh said trying to keep pace with Owen as she waited for him to tell her more, since she realized something must have happened other than missing a prey, otherwise Owen wouldn't have been as restless as he was.

"It was my fault, actually," Owen went on. "But it doesn't really matter, because tonight my heart beat again, Tosh…" He finally looked at her.

Tosh came to a halt.

"What?" she breathed unsurely.

"Jack found out he can give me life energy through a kiss," Owen explained. "And there were a few second when I could sense the whole world around me, Tosh."

"You and Jack… you…" Tosh stammered.

"We snogged, yes," Owen helped her out. "But it was so incredible, Tosh! I mean not the kiss…, although… okay, let's leave it. I want to say, the feeling of being alive again, it was so awesome!"

"God, Owen, this is amazing!" beamed Tosh after getting over the fact Owen had been kissing the boss.

But Owen's face turned serious in a second.

"It is. It would be… If Jack didn't have to die through the process. He can only give me enough energy in the last moment of his life," he murmured sadly.

"Oh." That was all Tosh could react to this.

"Well, life's not fair, is it? Or death on this matter." Owen said, his voice full of pain.

"I'm so sorry, Owen, I really am," Tosh assured him.

"Yeah, thanks Tosh, I've heard that from Jack too a couple of times this evening."

"But this means that... Jack died tonight?"

"Our blowfish friend shot him. That's why he could vamoose." Owen explained.

"I see," Tosh nodded. "And when you did, you came back properly, or… what did you feel?"

And so Owen told her every tiny detail of the miracle, since that was why he came after all; to talk himself out. He avoided mentioning what happened later in the Hub though, first because it was embarrassing and second, because it was more than enough that Ianto knew.

The wind was blowing through the crown of the trees, making the branches bend and the leaves dance as they walked under them. After a while they changed the subject; they started to chat about work – the topic they always ended up talking about.

They shared a good laugh recalling how thickly Ianto got covered with alien slime the other day when he had killed off a creature that seemed to have such a big amount of innards in it none of them could imagine a small body like that could contain.

Jack had been burbling about his mysterious Doctor more than he ever did that afternoon and when Owen had asked him what had reminded him of the old friend, Jack had simply replied: 'That thing was effing bigger on the inside, haven't you seen it, dumbo?'

Tosh's face was flushed from the joy and from the cold wind. She wouldn't have told Owen for the world, but the man could tell she was chilled to the bones by that time, so the doctor slowly led their way back to Tosh's home.

"Go up and go to bed, Tosh," Owen suggested when they arrived back to the house. "Tomorrow is still weekday and I assume geniuses need some rest to function too."

"Well, they would…," Tosh agreed. "That's why it is quite a problem if geniuses get insomnia."

Owen frowned and showed a funny smile.

"What about counting sheep?" he asked.

"Oh, if every one of them I've counted materialized, by now I'd have a foldful of them upstairs. Imagine it," Tosh smiled enthusiastically, "my room would be filled with fluffy, bleating lambkins…"

"Yeah," Owen giggled. "And your house would stink from sheep shit…" Then he cleared his throat and moderated himself. "Uhm… Sorry."

"No, actually you have a point," Tosh laughed with him, before suddenly changing the subject: "Listen, Owen, I know it's late, but I thought… If you'd like to… well, you could come in. You know, to… talk some more. Or watch some telly, or whatever."

"It's very late, Tosh," Owen reminded the girl.

"I know," Tosh nodded, "but I told you I can't sleep. I tried, but it simply eludes me. I thought that maybe if you stayed… You know, talking may help me relax."

Owen raised one eyebrow playfully.

"Wait, did I hear right you've just said I'm so boring that talking to me is the only cure for your insomnia?" he teased her.

"Oh, God, Owen, you know I didn't mean _that_," Tosh made excuses "you're not boring at all, you…"

"Okay," Owen pulled his mouth to a half-grin.

Tosh stopped in the middle of the sentence.

"Okay?" She asked shyly, surprised much.

"That's right, I just said that," Owen started, walking towards the front door, leaving Tosh behind where she stood on the pavement. 'Let's get in before you catch your death here, shall we?' he called back to her over his shoulder.

* * *

><p>Tosh didn't encourage Owen for a second to make himself at home; she didn't need to. Once Owen took off his jacket he looked down at his begrimed tee, pulled a face and then, not being bothered at all, he hopped onto the sofa, making himself comfortable on it.<p>

"I have a clean T-shirt at your size if you'd like to change," Tosh let him know.

"That would be nice," Owen nodded thankfully.

Tosh left the room and coming back in a minute she threw the told T-shirt to Owen. He whipped off his bloody tee in an instant and put the other one on.

"It fits perfectly," he said, pulling down the black material. "Where is it from?"

"It was an ex's," Tosh replied casually still standing at the door, leaning against the frame.

"All that's left of him, eh?" Owen smiled, but when he saw how Tosh's face clouded over with sadness he added: "Well, at least it's good use for now."

Tosh nodded slowly, a small smile appearing in the corner of her mouth.

"Do you mind if I change back to my pyjamas?" she asked not sure of Owen's reaction, but his answer was a pleasant surprise to her:

"Sure, if you want to sleep. I'm here to help you there, remember? Off you go and get into those pyjamas as quick as you can!"

Tosh was back in a few minutes and by then Owen had found the remote. Men in Balck was on the telly, Tosh noticed as she approached the coach, and Owen seemed to be completely immersed in it. Tosh was pleased she found him like that. Television was something that could distract his attention from his problems after all. She sat down beside Owen bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"Oh, this is such a sweet rubbish," Owen commented. "Whoever made this movie the person hadn't had the faintest idea he'd made a perfect comedy of Torchwood. However, I would definitely hire those worm guys to keep up the good spirits in the Hub. They would also drive Ianto up the wall hanging around the coffee machine all the time. I would watch that."

Tosh smiled lightly and attempted to catch up with the story of the movie.

It all happened through slight movements, but soon Tosh felt the weight of Owen's arm as it was being encircled around her shoulder. She shifted a bit and rested her head on Owen's shoulder taking the risk of being rejected, but she wasn't. Instead, Owen pulled her closer and she ended up in a half-sitting, half-laying position, but definitely in Owen's arms with her head resting on the doctor's chest.

Words didn't come to either of them, so they just kept on watching the film. Not that Tosh could concentrate on it anymore. She just got what she'd desired for years and she couldn't even express how delighted she was at the moment. It didn't matter that Owen's skin was cold as ice, she felt warmth all around her.

The hint of Owen's scent that lingered in her nose – he hasn't lost this uniqueness of him, though he probably didn't know that – finally brought the long-awaited drowsiness with itself too. Now she would have struggled with it if she could, because she didn't want to lose consciousness and let it all slip away, but she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore; she dropped off to sleep in a minute.

Once Owen saw she was asleep, he lay her down gently on the sofa, while slipping away from her. He looked for a blanket and covered her body with it carefully before switching off the light.

Left in the darkness, Owen suddenly slid down by the wall and huddled himself up on the floor, pulling down his head between his knees. He was trembling wildly, as if he had a nervous breakdown of some kind, but other than this physical symptom he was producing he didn't make a sound. He was determined to extinguish every cry that wished to come out of his throat, because he by no means wanted Tosh to see him like this.

He would have get out if he could, but he didn't feel the strength in himself to move. He was totally paralyzed by the negative emotional surge that attacked him and did not seem to be willing to let him go. It all happened, because Owen had developed seething hate for himself in the past twenty minutes; hate that was mixed with a good amount of disgust as well.

The truth was, he had actually concentrated on the movie for a couple of minutes before his mind once more decided to shut out everything that wasn't related to his major problem at the time. But this time it meant he'd got stuck in his head with horrible images of which all included Jack – a dead Jack to be absolutely precise. A shot, stabbed or tortured Jack being so close to death, so weak and powerless, so vulnerable. And Owen was with him all the time in these visions, taking advantage of him, without feeling any remorse, any guilt at all, even though somehow he knew it was him who'd hurt Jack. He didn't care though. He just needed to breathe again and it didn't matter what it cost anymore.

The music that started to play with the credits was what brought him back to reality.

And now he was screaming inside with helplessness and self-loathing in the dark room, feeling like putting a bullet in his head to kill the demon that entrenched himself inside it. He didn't even give a damn if it meant he had to carry on with the damage it caused; all he wanted was to be _clean_ again.

* * *

><p>AN: _**A bit of Owen/Tosh, yay! Please, tell me what you think, I could really use some encouragement... :)**_


	6. Chapter 6

The tip of the pen in Ianto's hand was pointed at the next definition in the row over the crossword puzzle. He was already done with the two sudokus at the foot of the page and he wasn't excessively elated thinking about how he'll be left with nothing to do for the whole morning after finishing off the puzzle.

Holding the fort up in the shop wasn't one of Ianto's favourite tasks. Despite what its name suggested, the tourist information shop was in reality a rarely visited closet store in the bay. Tourists had either prepared about the city before they came, or they would have needed information, but they avoided the shop by instinct after throwing a glance at the rust-covered entrance door that looked quite uninviting in itself – and that sadly stood between the people and Ianto's warm and welcoming smile.

Although, Jack was happy they had a camouflage in public that was not so alluring – they could do without people hanging around the place. _'It's much better that the door does the first impression, not Ianto,'_ Jack always said joking, '_because then half the population of Europe would be on our doorstep every summer.'_

The city of Cardiff could have definitely made a profit of that according to Jack, but he was not keen on the idea that Torchwood could have used their tourist entrance only to avoid the winding queue in the bay, not to mention how they'd be short with an operative – because of course Ianto would have had to be there to greet his admirers. Even if it was certainly a tiny bit of exaggeration on Jack's part, Ianto saw his point and agreed with him on that.

After writing down another two capital cities in the maze of words, he took a look at his watch. It was half past six, still a dim dawn outside, but not what Ianto called an early hour. He usually got up at four; not because he had to, but because his body got used to it and he woke anyway, even if he'd have been let alone to sleep till ten.

Today, however, he'd opened his eyes a quarter of an hour earlier. He must have been sleeping much lighter than he usually did, because otherwise he wouldn't have been aroused to the realization that Jack had planked himself down beside him on the bed. He had been fully dressed, while Ianto had laid there naked on his stomach, his body only half-hidden by the blanket he'd been covered with, which meant his bare curves had been exposed to Jack's hungry and unambiguously appreciative leer.

Ianto got goose bumps all over his skin under his shirt just from recalling how heavenly it felt when Jack had run his hand over his body from his neck right down to his thigh while he had whispered _'Morning beautiful'_ in his ear.

Drawing himself back to the present he quickly looked for another question to answer in the puzzle, because he didn't want his daydreams to give him an uncomfortable feeling in his pants for the rest of his 'office hours' when no release could be expected.

Even though Jack was down in the Hub, and still alone, the others could tumble in any minute, especially Owen, who since he'd died always showed up early. Ianto didn't really feel like replaying yesterday's situation with the roles mixed up for a change today.

So he just kept filling the gaps in the paper to keep himself busy until a few minutes later the door opened and shut just as Ianto had divined. _'Speak of the devil…_' he thought as he looked up at Owen.

"Morning," he beamed, hoping to cheer the poor sod up, because Owen looked like shit with his disheveled hair and painful expression on his pale face that became even worse when he set eyes on Ianto.

"Umm… Morning Ianto," he muttered nervously. He stepped closer to the table on the other side of which Ianto got to his feet to get in level with doctor.

"Listen mate, what happened last night… was completely my fault, not Jack's," Owen muttered trying to look Ianto in the eye and failing. "I… I didn't intend to make you two fight."

Ianto cut him off to forestall his further apologizing.

"It's okay. Jack told me everything. No need for you to feel embarrassed or anything, we sorted it out."

Owen finally ventured a full glance at his friend.

"You did?" he asked uncertainly.

"No hard feelings between us," Ianto reassured him, but Owen still didn't seem very relieved.

"But you didn't throw plates, or heavy objects at him, did you?" he wanted to know.

"No, I didn't. We went through it quietly…," Ianto answered, but now he was beyond suspicious, because the way the doctor acted was somehow alarming. He usually remained calm in every situation, even in tough ones and this didn't even get near to what tough meant in Owen's dictionary as far as Ianto knew. Finally the tea-boy asked: "Owen, are you okay?"

Owen, with a clear determination to escape from further chatting, started off towards the door that led to the lift. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he dropped, turning back to Ianto for a second at the door. "I just wanted to know if I should avoid Jack today, you know… in case he wanted to wring my neck for some reason."

The door shut behind Owen and Ianto shook his head slowly in disapproval. He wished he wasn't right, but Owen looked anything but fine to him. The way the man moved and talked roused the worry in Ianto he'd forgotten about throughout the night, but which he felt so strongly yesterday during his talk with Jack.

He's just started to wonder whether he should make after Owen to check if he was up to anything stupid, when the shop's door opened for a second time.

"Good morning, Ianto," Tosh greeted him with a cheerful smile while she attempted to set her skirt straight after struggling to hold it down in the wind outside.

"Same to you!," Ianto said. "Not nice weather we have today, haven't we?"

"We've seen better," Tosh agreed. She stepped to the table and put her handbag up on it, starting to look for something inside. Now that she was closer, Ianto ascertained that her face was definitely shining from some kind of joy, rather than from the lights which Ianto thought at first.

"But…," Tosh chattered on "the wind couldn't stop me from dropping in the bakery this morning. Tell me you haven't had breakfast yet, Ianto!" And with this she held up a small paper bag and handed it to her young colleague.

While Ianto peeked inside it and found a giant croissant with chocolate filling, he felt a short kiss landing on his cheek.

"Enjoy!" Tosh added before disappearing behind the door.

Ianto was choked from surprise. '_What has taken those two today?_' he thought. Owen and Tosh – the two extremes of an emotional rollercoaster – made him freak out and smile uncontrollably at the same time. But eventually as he took his first bite of the pastry, he decided the effect Tosh's cheerfulness had on him was far more worth to keep and so the worry he felt about Owen and Jack slowly faded away just for now.

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

Even though Tosh felt butterflies in her stomach as it was going to be their first encounter after last night, she was still very anxious to see Owen. She was a bit disappointed in the morning though, when she hadn't found the man in her flat, but then she realized that Owen didn't need sleeping and she thought he must have been bored all alone and without anything to do expect watching telly or her sleep – both of which activities she couldn't imagine Owen would be occupied with for a relatively long time.

All that she hoped was that Owen won't tell her that yesterday he'd been confused and because of what happened – that wasn't much anyway – she shouldn't expect their relationship to develop into something more. Owen never stated such a thing plainly and Tosh wanted it to stay that way, because she could bear the waiting even if it meant to keep until the last moment, but the thought of losing hope for ever made her knee go weak.

As she arrived to her workstation she immediately booted up the computers and tried to neaten her desk to create a clear surface to work on, but a familiar voice stopped her in the middle of action.

"Well, well. Torchwood's sleeping beauty is in rather early. Did you sleep well, Tosh?" Owen teased her playfully. Tosh turned around a bit more quickly than she meant to.

"As a matter of fact I did, Owen," she answered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling sheepishly.

She was glad to hear him joking, because it almost ruled out the possibility that the conversation might turn into a serious one, but on the other hand she noticed how haggard the doctor's face looked and how worn-out impression he made all in all.

"Thanks for staying, what you did was life-saving, really," Tosh gave a small nod to the sentence to show how much she meant it.

"No problem," Owen shrugged. "I enjoyed being a pillow, actually. Putting you to sleep was the only productive thing I did last night after all..."

Tosh didn't know what to say to that. She just looked at Owen silently and witnessed as misery showed on the his features even more as he looked her in the eye.

"Talk to me, Owen!" she asked him, because it was clear to her something was eating him inside and she didn't even have to guess twice what it was: Jack and his clever idea. The few moments of gifted paradise that were then snatched back from Owen too shortly.

She thought over the possible effects of Owen's story soundly only on her way to work, but she had talked herself into that Owen was strong enough to get over what had happened to him. Somewhere deep down she knew it won't be that easy, but the day before Owen seemed okay enough for her to be optimistic. Now she saw how wrong she'd been.

"Owen?" she called his name to make him speak, because he was still standing in front of her silently.

"Something's happening to me, Tosh," Owen muttered with trembling lips. "I have awful thoughts that I can't get rid of. I don't know what to do," he whispered. "I'm…" Eventually his voice failed him.

Tosh put her arms around Owen's torso and gave him a comforting hug, which the man welcomed helplessly.

"It's okay, Owen, I'm here. We'll chase them away together, huh?" Tosh tried to reassure him.

She only wondered how, while she kept on rubbing Owen's back with her palm.

Neither of them noticed Jack, who was eyeing them through the huge glass window of his office. What he saw was – if not the most demonstrative, but – a possible proof to what he had racked his brain about during the night might be right; that Ianto might got a point when he'd said Jack did the worst thing he could do to Owen. Because Owen never hugged anybody just like that, especially not Tosh.

There was no way those two had hooked up with each other and he didn't know about that, what's more that embrace was clearly a consoling one, not the kind of two lovers gave each other. He was definitely a man who could tell, since through his long life he got to know all the angles of the science of hugging.

He was aware of Tosh's affection towards their capricious doctor, but he also knew that the latter did not give a damn about her… up until now. And what he's just witnessed made Jack think Owen had fell into a terrible state of mind, because that was the most likely explanation to why he'd finally let down his defense walls between him and Toshiko.

As he watched the two parting from each other Jack tried to think about a way he could help Owen if it turned out he felt down because of him. Maybe he should have talked to him, but he wasn't sure that would have done any good. Jack possessed what Owen truly needed, only he had one tough way to give it to him and it wouldn't have made any sense at all, since it still would have been a temporary solution…

While he mused, Owen and Tosh disappeared from his range of vision and the next thing Jack realized was that a moment later or so, the Japanese girl approached his office, this time alone.

Jack sat down to his chair and swung around before Toshiko entered. When the girl finally stood in front of him, looking down at him, Jack saw a similar, but much deeper concern on her face compared to what he'd seen on Ianto's the day before.

"Where is he?" he asked, before Tosh could say a word.

"I left him in the Autopsy room," the woman replied. "He's completely agonized…"

"Did he tell you something? About why he feels like that?" Jack wanted to know.

"He said some terrible thoughts haunt him," Tosh nodded. "Not that it needed saying anyway. Just by looking at him you can tell he's cracked up. And it's really not that surprising after how you'd held out a carrot to him…"

"You know what happened?" the Captain was dumbfounded.

"He came straight to my place right after he'd left the Hub last night," Tosh explained, but then she changed to a much more aggressive tone that was quite unanticipated on Jack's side. _"_What did you even think, Jack? He just starts to accept what he turned into and then you come and screw the world up around him once more. Why couldn't you keep your discovery to yourself?"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Jack tried to calm her down as he stood up once again. "Do you really think I did this on purpose?" he asked. "I mean… I never dreamt it would end like this. I just wanted to cheer him up a bit, because he was so lost. And yes, you're right, I didn't think it through properly, but it seemed such a great idea I couldn't resist trying…"

"Oh, good job with the cheering up bit!" Tosh snapped him up. "You certainly put a smile on his face…"

"Okay, I got it, I was stupid, okay?" Jack admitted. "But I cannot make it undone. It has already happened and now we should think about a way we can make Owen feel better."

"It's not an illness, Jack, it's not like you give him medicine and he miraculously recovers…" Tosh said angrily.

"All right, then what do we do?" Jack asked, suddenly forgetting that he was the leader, who should give commands. He had no idea how to handle the situation he'd created.

"I tell you what we do," Toshiko started, when she saw her boss hadn't risen to the occasion. "To begin with, you stay away from him. It would be traumatic for him just to be around you and besides – although we both know that under normal circumstances Owen would never hurt you – it will be safer for you too if you don't confront him. Your presence might tempt him to do things he'd never do otherwise."

"That's fair enough," Jack nodded, even though he still didn't believe Owen could kill him in cold blood. He would have rather not tested it though.

"That's what you can do for him right now," Tosh went on. "What I can do is staying with him all day and talk to him, putting his mind off you and this whole topsy-turvy case between you."

"Thank you, Tosh, I really appreciate that," Jack said softly, looking in the young woman's eyes over the desk. "And you know what they say… every cloud has a silver lining. At least now you can spend time with him and who knows where that leads you two…" he added, winking at her tellingly.

Toshiko, however, still looked at him firmly.

"I'd willingly give up the time I can spend with him today just to see him back in his cocky self again," she declared.

"I'm so sorry," Jack breathed.

"Yes, Jack," Tosh told him before leaving the office, "you know what people say; better late than never..."

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

Once Jack was alone again he let the twinge of conscience overwhelm him. Ianto was right when he'd said he was an idiot. He'd only wanted to see the positive side of his plan and forgot about the damage it could cause – that later it actually caused. For the first time he realized he was a drug to Owen, a drug of the kind that makes the person addicted right after the first taste and – as dumb as he'd been – he mindlessly offered it to Owen. And now all he could do was staying away from him, hoping the doctor was strong enough to defeat his demons.

He remained in his office for hours, since the computers didn't show any rift activity whole morning. It was a rare occasion, but sometimes they had breaks when nothing happened around the city. Jack would have been happy for a busier day this time, but at least he didn't spend his banishment alone, because Gwen joined him for a chat after she was done with the watering of the alien plants up in the hothouse.

Gwen didn't ask questions about Owen, even though Jack could see the girl sensed the tension that infected the air of the Hub given that both Jack and Owen were inside it. Maybe Gwen even knew the whole story; either Tosh or Ianto could have told her after all, but still, she didn't mention it, not once during their conversation for that Jack was more than grateful.

He finally even ventured to ask where Tosh and Owen were at the moment and Gwen told him they were playing cards up in the meeting room with Ianto, killing time as they were free of work. But soon they realized that two in question were let alone to play the next round when they set their eyes on Ianto through the glass, who was heading for the cogwheel door wearing a pair of rubber gloves and wellies, carrying a bucket in his hands that they both know was full of big slices of meat.

"Ah, time to feed the pterodactyl," Jack chuckled as he glanced up at the creature's cave.

"Jesus, I can't believe he never changes clothes for this. I remember when he took me up there on my first week. It's one thing that the place stinks, but there is such a mess up there I've never seen anything like that." Gwen said in horror.

"And yet, he always walks away without a single stain on him," Jack said somewhat proudly.

Ten minutes later when Ianto returned to the main area of the Hub his clothes seemed immaculate indeed. He made his way up to the office to report about the feeding.

"What's up, Ianto? Was your trip successful?" the Captain put the question to him.

"The guard dog ate his fill, Sir," the young Welsh smiled at him.

"Excellent!" Jack nodded cheerfully, but then he realized Ianto kept clasping his left hand in his right.

"What's happened to your hand?" he asked, passing by Gwen and stepping closer to him.

"It's nothing, just a scratch. For some reason the pet was a bit overexcited today, that's all. I scraped the skin off on the wall of the cave when I jumped off its way." Ianto explined while Jack took a look at the injury. Fortunately as the boy said it was nothing serious in reality.

"I'll put a bandage on it for you," Gwen volunteered, hooking on Ianto's arm and leading him away from Jack.

"That's all right, take care of him!" Jack agreed, letting them go, but then he added quickly: "If you need a get well kiss on it afterwards, I'll be still here, Ianto!"

Jack saw on his lover's face that he'd have rather had that kiss immediately, but Gwen was dragging him away so eagerly there was no way for him to turn back. Jack was smiling to himself after they were gone and went back to his desk to do some paperwork.

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

Owen couldn't tell how long he'd been pretending he paid attention to what Tosh was saying to him. Sitting across the table from her he managed to show some fake interest which ran out in answering yes and no questions and nodding a little now and then. Meanwhile his mind was off planning something horrible which deep down he was very embarrassed about, but he felt he no longer could control his thoughts and he knew it soon would be true about his actions too; once he would be left alone, certainly.

His eyes were secretly scanning the room, looking for potential weapons. He found none. There weren't really a lot of objects in the meeting room and none of them could have been used to hurt someone. There was a bottle of drink on the nearby table with glasses around it, but even if Tosh left the room and he tried to break the glass the sound of clatter would have alarmed the others and he would have been nicked in an instant.

Then he remembered he had access to the armory that situated right beneath the meeting room. If he would be let alone a second he could get a decent gun to do the job. But then what? He reminded himself that Jack was surrounded by the others and there was hardly a way to go through with his plan right now. He slowly became more and more nervous, he started sweating. He wanted to carry out his plan so much, and the fact that there was no way to go with it started to drive him mad. He wished that at least Jack left the Hub so it became easier for him to endure his misery, knowing the subject of his future murder is nowhere in reach so the postpone of his terrible act made a little sense.

And suddenly he had his prayers answered…

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

Jack didn't get far with the paperwork, because five minutes after Gwen and Ianto left, the alarm went off and they returned to the office, along with Tosh, who reported that the computer caught Rift activity in an alleyway on Bute Street. Jack ordered Gwen and Ianto with him and soon they were out to check what was going on, leaving Owen and Tosh behind.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **I'm sorry I haven't updated in... well, quite a while. Been busy with RL things :/ But now here's a long chapter to make it up to you! :) Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Tosh didn't turn back to go to the meeting room immediately, because now that Jack was gone she didn't have to follow up the medic's steps and she wanted to give him some time alone. She'd been by his side all day after all – glancing at her watch she realized it was far later than she thought – and besides she was afraid that the doctor might not enjoy her company as much as he showed.<p>

Needless to say, Tosh was over the moon by how Owen had treated her all day. The man was clearly very grateful for the help Tosh gave him and their cooperation seemed to work so much that Owen had brightened up considerably by the end of the day compared to the state he was in that morning.

His mood may still have been changeable, but after all he was an adult and sooner or later he had to face those thoughts alone if they were still inside his head, because Tosh couldn't guarantee that she could stay with him all the time through the following days. And once he had to, it was better to face these demons in the safety of the Hub while Tosh was near and not in his flat where he could harm himself.

Tosh seated herself in front of her computer. This way if she looked up, – thanks to the fact that the room's walls were made out of glass – she could discern the shape of Owen's back as he sat by the table in the meeting room.

While she kept an eye on him, she set about to watch some footage that the CCTV camera recorded down in Janet's – their resident Weevil – cage. She did this now and again, because she knew that Weevils were so extremely sensitive to chronon energy that their behaviour manifested its presence in the city way before any of their gadgets did, if they did at all – unlike Weevils, sometimes they failed to register some tiny glimpses of energy and they had already gotten into trouble more than once because of this.

Soon Tosh was so immersed in video watching that she didn't notice as Owen simply strolled out of the meeting room. The next thing she heard was his stomping up the stairs as he drew near her. When he took a look at the screen he seemed impressed.

"Ahh, stalking on the Weevil, are we? " he asked cheerfully. "Can I join in?"

He rolled another chair next to the woman's and sat back in it.

"Why not?" Tosh approved. "If you don't have anything else to do…"

"You mean other than planning how to kill Jack…? No, not really…" Owen said, shifting a bit in the chair while fixing his eyes on the screen.

"Oh, tut! Why do you always have to twist my words? " She gave him a gentle punch to the arm, but then she realized how Owen looked at her with a face that was completely blank of emotions and she withdrew immediately. "You're not serious, are you?" she inquired apprehensively.

"Of course I'm not, " Owen reassured her, pulling his mouth into a half smile. "I'm fine, okay? Thanks to you, I'm feeling much better. And now let's watch the next artistic piece of this not exactly natural documentary, shall we?" He put his hand over Tosh's on the mouse so he could made her point the cursor at the next footage and he even managed to click once between her fingers.

Tosh just looked at him, a bit confused by the touch and also by his words, but then when he pulled back his hand and sat back in the chair once more, she automatically mimicked his movements and soon was able to concentrate on her task again.

The next half an hour flew away quickly for Toshiko, although Owen got bored with the screen-gazing much more easily. After twenty minutes he started to play with the paper clips, creating long chains of the pieces, just to pull them free of each other again.

When the door of the Hub began to move both of them looked up. They could hear snatches of an argument from the distance that became louder and louder until Jack, Gwen and Ianto finally stood beside them and Toshiko and Owen could enjoy the show from the front row. The quarrel was apparently between Gwen and Ianto and Jack was doing everything he could.

"Shut up already, will you?" he barked at them. "My head is splitting from your tweeting. What about leaving this bloody topic for now and discussing it later?"

The other two stopped cutting each other short for a moment as if considering Jack's words. It gave the Captain time to turn to the other two explaining dejectedly:

"They've been going on like this all the way back here. I haven't had such a frustrating ride since I took Ianto to the funfair a few month ago which little trip resulted in him puking all over me and the upholstery after eating two sticks of candy floss and going three rounds on the highest roller coaster in the park…"

"Oi! You promised you wouldn't ever hold that against me!" Ianto cried, his cheeks rosy from the heat of the spar and now the embarrassment. "Anyway, she was the one who started the whole thing, I'm just defending myself here," he asserted, pointing at Gwen. "You see that Jack, don't you?"

"Oh, look at the innocent little boy hiding behind daddy's back…" Gwen's words stung. "Let me enlighten the fact that it all started at the moment when you mentioned your preposterous idea to Rhys. You put the bee in his bonnet and now he's seriously considering your suggestion even though he knows how much I hate that colour. Why do you think all the world needs your advice?"

"I told you a thousand times already, it wasn't an advice," Ianto fought back. "We simply had a conversation and he shared my opinion, that's all. I didn't talk him into anything."

"Oh, no, because you don't need to talk anybody _into_ anything, Ianto. You just appear in your three piece suit with a fulsome smile on that cherub face of yours and it is more than enough for you to talk _to_ the person to persuade him everything you think is right. I never thought that looks can be deceiving, but you proved me otherwise. You even get a power over Jack while he hasn't got the simplest idea he's fooled. Look! You just need to play hurt to have him on your side!"

"Okay, now that was enough," Jack sat upon Gwen. "Jesus, are you hearing what you're speaking at all? And I didn't stick up for anybody. As far as I remember I asked _both of you_ to shut up." the Torchwood leader grumbled furiously.

"But Jack, I…" Gwen wanted to go on, but she didn't get the chance to finish.

"No, Gwen, I don't care about it. You go home. Now! I want you to calm down by tomorrow. If you can't do that, don't come in. We don't need tiffs here; we've got enough problems without them."

Suddenly Gwen became much less confident.

"But…" she stammered.

"I said go!" the man said firmly, articulating each word clearly.

Eventually Gwen turned her back on them, grabbed her coat and ran out of the Hub.

"Thanks, Jack..." the tea boy muttered, but his face was gloomy too.

"Wait from me in my office, Ianto. I have a bone to pick with you too," Jack ordered him.

"What? I didn't do anything!" Ianto resisted, but when he saw the rigorous light in Jack's eyes he finally obeyed.

"What was all that fuss about?" Owen asked Jack once Ianto was already out of the range of hearing.

"Rhys wants to wear a beige shirt on the wedding instead of a traditional white one and Gwen is convinced it's Ianto's fault," Jack clued them up.

"What?" Tosh couldn't believe her ears. "They turned on each other because of a trifle like that? "

"This is ridiculous," Owen agreed. "Gwen got all steamed up because of the colour of a stupid shirt? No way…"

"Yeah, I smell a rat here too," Jack nodded. "In fact I'll bet anything that this little chap is somehow responsible for this ruckus." With this he pulled out a round object from under his coat and put it down on the desk. The two Torchwood operatives hadn't noticed he was carrying it all along pressed to his side under the thick material of the vintage coat and now they looked at it curiously.

The thing was a size of a beach ball, in fact it looked exactly like a ball only made out of metal. It had all silvery looks to it and it noticeably divided into two halves – there was a gap running around in the middle, wide enough to put your fingers in it, but still narrow enough for not taking away the chance from the object to give the impression of a whole. Its surface was smooth and it started to glitter once Jack placed it under the light of the reading lamp.

"What is it?" Tosh asked as she reached out to touch the sphere.

"I'm not sure about it yet, but if it is what I suspect it is, then we have to make a short work of destroying it," answered Jack, pointing at the object. "We found it in the alleyway where you located the rift activity. It lay on the middle of the pavement as if someone left it there with purpose, but its owner –whoever that would be – was long gone by the time we got there."

"And you think it was what generated the quarrel between them?" Owen guessed.

"Yes, I do. This stuff is dangerous; I have a wrong feeling about it. That's why I'll lock it away for the night and do some research. Tomorrow we'll decide about its fate."

"But what…?" the Japanese girl started, but she was interrupted.

"No, no, no. I don't do any more questions today," Jack stated before he picked up the metal ball from the desk. "I'll let you guys go home now, we'll sort this out when the Sun comes back to the sky once more. I hope we'll see it tomorrow, because we all could do with a little sunshine…" he seemed he pondered on something for a moment, then looked at them again. "Come on, off you go! Nighty night, kids!"

The Captain held Tosh up for a moment when Owen started off to fetch their coats.

"Listen, I know I'm exercising your patience – and I really hope he wasn't a pain in the ass he usually is throughout the day –, but that would be a tremendous weight off my shoulders if you said you could manage to stay with him tonight." He gestured towards Owen with his head. "He looks okay for now, but we both know we can't see what is going on inside his mind…"

"Sure, I see your point and I was gonna stay with him anyway… well, if he lets me. I'm not quite convinced about he will, but it's worth a try," Tosh said.

"Oh, I'm sure he will," Jack grinned at her. "You were together whole day and I bet he didn't complain, did he?"

The computer genius shook her head, smiling, as the realization of what a wonderful day she had hit her.

Jack placed a kiss on her forehead.

"He doesn't deserve you," he whispered to her before he joined Ianto in his office.

*T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D*

The next day the rain stopped falling on Cardiff, however – Jack would have been disappointed to know – there was still no trace of the Sun on the sky. Not that Jack would have had time to have a sun-bath – saving the world had priority that morning and it may have happened every second day in his all-but-boring life, but this was about to be anything like the usual occasions and process. This time he planned it to be quiet and decent, without big booms and major clean-up to follow and it certainly made a difference, since it was about to be a silent and maybe even mournful death of the enemy.

He had the whole team with him in the Autopsy room and despite of the fact that they were gathered to witness the end of – hopefully – the last of the most evil technological invention that the universe has ever seen, they all seemed to be in a relatively good mood.

Jack was standing in the middle of the room, with the mysterious object in front of him, placed on the slab. If he looked right and lifted up his head he could see Gwen and Tosh gazing down at him from the gallery, waiting for him to say something.

Gwen's position was relaxed as she leaned casually against the banister longing for something to happen. She wore a smile of relief whole morning after she had talked to both Jack and Ianto about last night. Gwen had no idea what had gotten into her, but she remembered feeling this unceasing anger building in her towards Ianto which had hit her once they started off from the alleyway. She had felt she had to shout at him, she had to drive him to the wall, because she wasn't sure why, but abruptly the conflict about the colour of Rhys' wedding shirt became the most important problem in her life.

Once she'd been out of the Hub though, all of a sudden her head cleared up and she'd seen things realistically once more. She drove straight home and cried herself out in Rhys' arms, because she felt so horrible for being such a bitch, even though she was almost sure she hadn't been herself during her invective.

After arriving in the Hub in the morning her first thing to do was apologizing to Ianto. The tea-boy was marvelously understanding, he even gave her a hug and said it was okay, because – as he said – he knew she'd been under the control of some alien machinery and when as a reaction to his statement Gwen gave him the WTF face Ianto suggested her to pay Jack a visit in his office.

Only Gwen didn't have time to talk to Jack, because she caught him on his way to the Autopsy room where he summoned the rest of the team. So there she stood now, looking forward to hear the answers to her questions. She ventured a look at Ianto who stood halfway down on the metal steps. Ianto returned the eye contact and gave her an encouraging wink…

Ianto hadn't slept well that night. He'd been alone in the bed while Jack killed the time upstairs hanging on the computer, doing a research on the device they found. This time Ianto didn't mind being alone too much though, because at least he had place to shift around, which he did a lot as the hours passed by. It wasn't just Gwen who felt awkward for their quarrel. Even though he wasn't the main voice in it, he'd also felt the weight of the little devil sitting on his shoulder and he'd been hearing its whispering in his ear. He had enjoyed fighting back, he couldn't deny that.

On the other hand he was sure he had caught some kind of bug, because the feelings of being hot and cold came and went continuously while he lied in the bed awake and he had kicked off and picked up his duvet at least five times till the morning came. He assumed he had a temperature, but he'd been too lazy to get up before the usual time to check it. Although for now he'd felt a bit better – straightening things up with Gwen helped him to get his spirits back –, the only thing that he currently found annoying was that his eyes kept on burning ever since he woke up.

Waiting for Jack's speech to start he rubbed his right eye with the back of his hand. As he lowered his arm he glanced at Toshiko, who was standing next to Gwen and looked even more pleased than the day before if that was even possible. She had a gleaming aura around her. But however hard she tried to act like there wasn't a more interesting thing in the room than the metal object on the slab, Ianto noticed how she shot a stolen glimpse at Owen now and then…

Jack was right: Tosh hadn't had to spend too much time convincing Owen he shouldn't stay alone for the night. She couldn't think of anything else, but that Owen was desperate to be in someone's company, even if that someone was Tosh. She presumed he was still struggling to win over his demand to live and so the images in his head were still too alive and were not fading at all even if he tried hard to fool Tosh and the other members of the team.

To Owen's suggestion they had gone to his place this time, which by the way Tosh wasn't very happy with, since she still kept that bad memory of Owen breaking his finger in front of her in his apartment. But this evening didn't turn into a tragedy like that after all, in fact it was more like a comedy, since Tosh was entertained the whole time by Owen's often stupid jokes and she fell asleep at around four in the morning thinking that – even if nothing really happened between them through the night –, there was definitely something promising in the air around them. She wished they finished this job with this alien tech as soon as possible, so she could spend more time with the man.

Owen was the only one who stood down in the pit with Jack. He leaned his back against the tiles of the wall at the base of the steps. His features were inscrutable as his glance swept around the room surveying his colleges and the situation itself around him. Inside he experienced mixed feelings, some of which he welcomed and some he wanted to get rid of immediately. He hated to be here, because he still felt his knees trembling being so close to Jack. The man's mere presence made him recall his deficit and it strengthened his insecurity about the purity of his soul.

But by now he had positive thoughts too, with which he could take up arms against his worse self and they all belonged to Tosh. He felt he was going through a change because of the girl and he wasn't sure he was okay with it, but he couldn't do anything against it. No one had ever stood by him like Tosh did in such a terrible time of his life – well, death – and he was grateful for it… and maybe he felt a bit more than gratitude for her. And slowly he became more and more sure about that _more_ part too...

Eventually all four team members were stopped in the middle of a thought as Jack finally began to speak.

"All right, now that everyone's here let's get to it, shall we?" he started.

"So, what is that thing, Jack?" Tosh asked eager to know the answer after she had to wait one whole night to get it.

Jack laid one hand on the sphere.

"Our database doesn't contain a word about it, so I had to poke around in other sources to make sure I was right about the origin of this artifact. Unfortunately I found out there is no mistake here. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you the _TNQ_."

"The _TNQ_?" Gwen asked back.

"Yes. It's from the Planet of the Restless, and in the late inhabitants' native language this anagram stands for _'The Ultimate Enemy'._" Jack explained.

"Late?" Owen questioned. "You mean the population died out?"

"Oh, yes," Jack smiled mysteriously. "The citizens of the Planet of the Restless wiped out themselves thanks to their idiocy and their never-ending desire to win the war of the two nations."

Jack saw the team was losing the plot, therefore he went on:

"Okay, so here is the story: There once was a little planet far, far away from Earth. Two species shared its surface, living in great unison and peace. Then one day in the distant past – that is really so distant no one remembers it – for some reason unknown the two pillars of that world started a war against each other, which then determined the further history of the planet. Each of the two sides was determined to defeat the enemy and they of course used science to cause as much damage beyond the enemy lines as they could…"

"They competed in evolving special weapons," Ianto cut him short, trying to guess what could have happened. "They tried to be one step ahead of the enemy. Whoever has the more effective arms has the chance to make the last strike that leads to the end of the war and to the victory of whoever owns the technology."

"Exactly," Jack presented him with an approving smile.

"And one side found it, didn't they?" Ianto gestured towards the metal object with his head.

Jack nodded.

"Yes. _The Ultimate Enemy_ ended the war, but it did not only kill off the enemy, but later its inventors as well."

"I think it's time for you to tell us Jack if we should expect a shower of bullets coming out of this thing in the near future, because I'd rather find a shelter before it happens," Owen suggested.

"It's very unlikely to happen," Jack reassured them. "According to the sources and what I had heard before _TNQ_ didn't kill a single person in the great war… I mean directly."

"Instead it gets into people's minds and makes them do things. It controls people, that was what happened to me and Ianto, wasn't it?" Gwen joined the brain-storming.

"Yes and no," Jack explained. "This little thing was designed to generate conflict. It's constantly scanning around for antagonistic feelings in its presence and it doesn't stop until it finds the most intensive one between two persons that are present. Then it sends out energy waves that rouse and stimulate the hostile thoughts and feelings in the two victims up until the level where anything can happen…"

"It is the perfect weapon," mumbled Ianto. "It turns the ones who're fighting on one side against each other. Friends, family members, sweethearts – they can slaughter each other because of an unkept promise or an anniversary forgotten."

"Yes. A vague doubt is enough for a whole world to end," Jack said. "And – harm watch harm catch – eventually the invention brought death to the winner species too, because they couldn't control it any longer."

"But Gwen and Ianto calmed down eventually," Tosh reminded him.

"That's because it only works if the two persons stay near to the _TNQ_ long enough for it to completely take away their minds" Jack explained. "Although it doesn't control anybody in fact, it just challenges your self-discipline on a level where most beings fail to keep it."

"That's quite reassuring," Gwen pulled a face.

"But if it has a range in which it can make an effect, then it means…," Ianto started, but Jack finished the sentence for him.

"… it wasn't the only one that was created. There were thousands of them, but as far as I know they were all destroyed a long time ago."

"So shouldn't we kill it before it finds our weaknesses out?" Ianto asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Sure we should," Jack agreed. "I only wanted you to know the story of it. It is always important to know your enemy."

"How are you planning to do it?" Owen asked.

"It can be destroyed one way," Jack answered him. "I'm gonna have to open it up. I'm not sure if it will let me do it, but I guess it would be too easy, so if I fail, I can always use this." He lifted up an object from the tray that stood next to the slab.

"You kidding me?" Gwen chuckled above him.

"You're gonna smash it with a hammer?" Owen was clearly enjoying himself too. "Oh, I wish it didn't let itself! I want to watch you use that thing."

"Cool," came Ianto's reaction. "Can I have a request? Tug your shirt sleeves up before you do that, will you?"

Suddenly everybody turned towards him.

"What?" he asked "I didn't ask him to get off his pants, did I?"

Jack came to his rescue.

"Okay, team, leave him alone and pay attention here instead, because I'm about to start."

He took the sphere in his hand and looked around as if checking if they all said their silent farewells to the condemned machine before he started the process. Jack pulled the ball to his right side to support it, so he could put his fingers into the gap that ran around it in the middle. This way he could pull it upwards with his right hand whilst he pulled it downwards with his left in order to force it open.

He put all the effort in the pulling he could, he even clenched his teeth tight as he was struggling to open the evil alien machinery.

However, right from the moment Jack laid his hands on the device, a strange thrill started to get the mastery over Owen. It felt as if his mind slowly narrowed down, his attention focused on Jack only, and he felt the tension building up in him until it became incredibly hard to endure.

If he reckoned the thoughts that had haunted him were unbearable, now he had to realize they were nothing compared to the urge they could be developed into. Because the desire to kill Jack wasn't nearly as strong in the last days as it was now and it became worse and worse in every second. Owen was aware that his sanity was besieged, that the alien tech identified his weakness, but he was determined to hold his ground and prayed silently for it to come to an end shortly, for Jack to be strong enough to kill the thing off, before he attempted to kill Jack.

But after a few moments of no success on Jack's side Owen saw that the thing wasn't about to let him go. He was still rational enough to run though, because he knew it was the only thing that could make the nightmare go away and he'd have rather lost his pride than turned into a murderer. He was set to move towards the door to take his misery away with him and so abolish it, but unfortunately the hunter didn't let his prey get away so easily and suddenly the game took a serious turn.

Abruptly Jack threw his head back, moaning loudly in agony and for a second each and every person in the room held back his breath as if the time froze down on them. Then everything started to move again: Jack fell against the slab before flopping down on the floor. Ianto was beside him in a second and the girls were climbing down the steps too to help him.

"Jesus, it was an enormous blade shooting out of that thing, I could see its end from above… You saw it too, Tosh, didn't you? Jesus, it came out of his back!" Gwen stuttered to Ianto as she squatted next to them. The office boy obviously couldn't see it happen, because he wasn't observing the event from the right angle.

"Yes… yes, I saw it too." Tosh muttered staring at Jack's blood covered side.

Gwen leant over Jack's body that lay in Ianto's arms. He was still conscious, but she saw he was slowly losing it, so she petted his cheek. "Come on, Jack, look at me, let me see those beautiful blue, eyes, come on." Then she added shouting "Owen, where the hell are you?"

Owen was still standing by the wall, frozen like a statue. He was paralyzed by the realization of what a vicious trap he had fallen into. When Jack fell, he dropped the metal sphere, which bowled towards him until it stopped right at the doctor's feet. Its glittering surface was covered in blood and even though it had no face Owen was sure it would have been laughing at him if it had. He wasn't sure it was a piece of technology anymore; it looked more like a living thing to him.

Whatever it was, thanks to it Owen was helplessly exposed to his self-doubt and the situation became even trickier now that Jack was injured. Owen looked towards his three mates. They were hiding Jack's body from his view as they leaned over his figure. He heard Gwen's call for him, but it was just a distant voice and he wasn't sure how to react to it anyway, or if he wanted to react to it at all.

The thing was, Owen was offered the greatest opportunity ever, which was the greatest temptation designed exclusively for him as well. Now he didn't have to do a thing to get what he wanted, to live for a short time again, to breathe air in his lungs, to drink a cup of coffee. He didn't have to hurt Jack, because he was already hurt. He just had to be passive; he just had to watch him die and stole his kiss in the last moment.

As a result of these thoughts Gwen's shouting slowly started to fade as if to make him stuck with the option he has just pointed out to himself. But with the last remains of his sanity Owen vaguely was aware that denying his help from Jack would have just as well been murder and if he did so, he wouldn't be different from the ball that was lying on the floor in front of him.

Once he had the right determination, he got hold of it and concentrated hard not to let it go. Slowly he heard Gwen's voice again and he let her shouting pull him back to the ground of reality. The scene became alive again and he finally noticed how Tosh was gazing up at him with a mixture of despair, fear and disappointment. Owen looked down at the evil sphere once again before he let out a loud cry and kicked the thing across the room.

It hit the wall and landed on the floor again, but Owen did not see where, because he was already beside Jack, shouting commands at the others, trying to stop the bleeding, giving him shots of pain-killers and making him talk, talk, talk to keep him conscious, so he could pull through his grievous liver injury without dying. Owen knew he just had to make sure Jack didn't black out until his wound started to heal and when it finally happened he sat back on his heel with a sigh of relief.

He stared down at his bloody hands and felt so incredibly empty, even though he knew he had won. He was stronger than he thought; he defeated _The Ultimate Enemy, _which now he understood, was himself, but he knew it wasn't the full stop at the end of the story for him and it made him helpless and afraid.

"God, I'm exhausted," he heard Jack saying hoarsely.

"I think this time you're allowed to be that," Tosh assured him. "You almost died after all."

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep," Gwen nodded. "Maybe you could fell asleep easily this time."

"I don't feel like sleeping," Jack said, making an attempt to sit up which eventually he could manage with a little help from Ianto. "But I would appreciate a glass of whisky right now." he added.

"Didn't you have your liver damaged enough for today? " Ianto asked him while he supported him by the back.

Jack shrugged once.

"With a wonderful doctor like Owen does it really matter what I'm doing to my liver?" he chuckled, while his eyes were searching for Owen among them, but he didn't find him. Jack lifted up his head and the others followed his gaze to find Owen standing at the top of the stairs.

"Owen?" the Captain called his name, but the medic didn't react to it. He looked down at them with a painful expression for a moment, then turned his back to them and stormed out of the Autopsy room and the Hub itself.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack took a sip of his third glass of Whiskey while sitting in his office, having a rest at Ianto's bidding. He was partly contented with how the things worked out. Being aware of Owen's victory over his own demon took a weight off his heart, but on the other hand he was a bit worried too, because he didn't like the expression that had been showing on the doctor's face before he left. Not to mention the _fact_ that he _left_.

The latter thing was disquieting, because Owen didn't have a reason to escape at all. He'd saved the day, the world, a person's life and won a girl's heart for the thousandth time – Tosh had been eyeing the cogwheel door ever since he left –, so why did he run away even so?

It was quiet in the Hub all morning; the members of the team buried in paperwork and all wondering when Owen would return; the strange way he'd slipped away puzzled all of them, not just Jack.

Eventually Owen turned up again just after midday. He went straight to Jack's office not stopping for a chat to anyone and, conspicuously, tried his best to avoid eye-contact with Toshiko. He looked inscrutable, but strong minded about whatever he was up to as he entered Jack's territory.

Jack looked up to the sound of the shutting door. Owen walked to his desk and looked down at his boss.

"I want you to retcon me, Jack" he said firmly.

"Wohohoho…," Jack leaned forward, and now their faces were inches from each other's. "I've never heard such a crap pick-up line, Owen. You really should work on your innuendos," he joked, although he knew Owen won't find it funny.

"Oh, sod it, Jack!" the younger man cried out. "It was a fucking hard decision to make, so don't waste my time. Give me the damned pill! I need to wipe the last three days out of my memory, I need to go back to where I didn't have the faintest idea about this connection between you and me."

"Why would I retcon you, Owen?" Jack didn't understand. "You did nothing wrong, in fact, you saved my life…"

"I wanted to kill you, I wanted to let you die…" Owen gainsaid him.

"But you didn't," the Captain reminded him. "You overcame your greatest desire and with this you not just saved me, but you destroyed the _TNQ_ as well."

'Did I?' Owen was surprised. He didn't know what happened to the sphere afterwards, but that kick surely wasn't something that was meant to please it.

He saw as Jack walked to the built-in safe and opened it. He then returned to the desk carrying a sizable glass box, from which he took out two hemispheres. Owen immediately recognized the two now individual parts of the _TNQ_. _The ultimate enemy _was ended, shattered, and its remains were dented all over. It was nothing but some metal junk ready to be recycled and made into a not too nice set of cutlery.

"It was already cracked in two when we found it," said the Torchwood leader.

"I guess the softie doesn't like to be kicked," Owen shrugged.

"It was made from a far stronger alloy than it could have been made to surrender by a foot detached to an angry man," Jack smiled at him. "You made it give in by doing exactly the contrary of what it suggested to you. You broke it by showing you had an upper hand."

Owen stared at the _The Ultimate Enemy_ for a moment, then looked up at his boss again.

"Okay, I defeated it. But it still doesn't make any difference. I want the pill," he insisted.

"But why, Owen?" Jack wanted to know. "You were just proved to be stronger than you thought, you didn't take advantage from the situation…"

"But I wanted to. And next time be sure, I will," Owen hissed. "You don't know what I had to go through, Jack, you have no idea how hard it was to act against my own will. I was strong enough, yeah. Today. But will I be tomorrow? After that?" he pointed his finger at Jack's chest as he spoke. "You die too often and I don't want to make this decision day after day, because I know I'll fail sooner or later. I will betray you in a moment when you will the least expect it, because the fruit of your death for me is so hard to resist… This longing won't cease, I know it. A few days ago I was just damned, but now, now I'm losing _myself_, Jack, don't you see?" he stepped back from Jack and the man saw he was struggling to keep it together.

"So you're ready for the retcon?" the immortal asked simply.

"It is the only solution," Owen nodded.

Jack didn't like that he had to admit the medic was right. Pushing the reset button was the only way to chase Owen's despair away and to keep everyone safe, including himself. But Jack realized it would have never become necessary if he hadn't started the chain of events in the first place.

He wished he could do something for Owen, he wish he could make it right, but he knew he couldn't. But then all of a sudden he thought of something. It was the most insane idea ever, but he didn't care, because at the very moment it formed in his head he knew he was gonna go through with it.

"I did this to you," he lay one hand on Owen's shoulder reassuringly. "And I can't express how sorry I am."

"No, it was meant to be" Owen told him. "But I want to forget."

Jack squeezed a bit on his shoulder.

"Whatever you say, I feel responsible. And that's why I can't let you go back to the start without letting me make it up to you as much as I can."

"I'm afraid to ask what you mean by that," Owen said.

Jack suddenly turned his back to him and started to put the pieces of the _TNQ_ back to its box.

"I'm giving you what you need," Owen heard him saying as he passed by him on his way to the safe. "And this time I'm gaining you as much time as I can manage," he added.

"What are you talking about?" Owen asked, watching Jack pushing his forehead against the safe's cool door after he shut it. Then he straightened up again and looked at him.

"I didn't commit suicide before, but I guess there's a beginning to everything," he said trying to sound as casually as he could.

Owen stared at him with wide eyes as his mind slowly processed the meaning of what he had just heard and when it did, Owen burst out:

"No, Jack, don't even go there!" he clashed. "Have you gone totally blonkers? Jesus, no… forget it! I don't even know how such an idea could turn in your head at all."

"Hey, calm down, Owen," the older man reached his arm towards him, holding his hand up. "The idea may sound upsetting for the first time, but if you think about it, it's not that big deal at all. I mean… I won't be gone forever. I'm just staying in the dark for a couple of hours, so you can enjoy life once more."

"Not a big deal?" Owen snapped. "Killing yourself not a big deal? Jack, I know what it is like to be on the other side. It's everything but a pleasant place, not to mention the road that leads there…"

"Don't worry about the pain, I got used to it, which is not a surprise considering that – as you had pointed out – I die too often. As for the dark, I don't really fear it anymore; those days when I did are long gone. And besides, when Abaddon killed me I've spent days there, trapped. To bear a few hours will be cakewalk for me."

"Do you think I want to condemn you to do such a thing for me?" Owen asked.

"I know you don't want you to see me hurt and I appreciate that. The improvement of your loyalty towards me has been incredibly spectacular through the years, Owen and by now I can bravely say you've became a friend I'm very proud I have. What I'm planning to do is going to be done not just because I blame myself for certain things, but because I want you to be happy for a short time again."

"Listen, Jack," the doctor started. "Even if I let you die for me – which is still out of question –, it didn't make any sense. Maybe I could spend that time doing things I like, things, I miss, but then it all would be over and there would come the retcon. What would be the point of it if I'd forget the whole thing afterwards?"

"Maybe you'll forget it, but you'll live it through and don't tell me you don't want that," Jack pointed out. "Besides…" he stopped and looked at Owen with a soft yet sad expression.

"Besides, what?" Owen wanted to know.

"You could spend your time making yourself happy by making someone else happy as well." Jack gestured to behind Owen's back with his head. Owen turned to check if someone stood behind him, but the office was empty except for them. Then he realized what, or more like who Jack meant.

"She'll be better off without me. Everything will go back to normal." Owen said.

"For you, certainly, it will. But she'll remember a time when she had a chance with you, when she could almost reach out and touch you, but all she'll know will be that you ran away before she could do that. She'll remember Owen, so why not give her everything you can before creating the distance between you again?"

Owen couldn't say anything to this. He had too many feelings for Tosh by then to pass Jack's argument unmarked. It was the first time he let himself consider the offer for a brief second. Tosh deserved to be loved so much by a proper man and he regretted he only found that out when he turned from that proper man into a walking mess. Only that walking mess, he now realized, was worth much more in some way then the person he'd been days ago, because he could tell what was really important and what was not. And Tosh's happiness was important for him as much as his. But he still hesitated, because the price to pay for it was way too high.

"She wouldn't want you to do it either. She would let me walk away." Owen argued.

"Because she's too good," Jack smiled. "And you start to resemble to her, Owen."

"Whatever, Jack, your idea is insane and I won't accept your offer."

"I'll give you time to think," the older man said quickly.

"I don't need time to think. Give me the retcon now," Owen resisted.

"Not until you thought it through. You need to consider what you're losing, you need to consider what you make her lose if you turn me down. I'll give you a few hours to think and in the end of the day we come back to the question. If you'll still say no, I'll give you the retcon. Deal?" Jack walked back to his chair and hopped in it as a sign he had shut the conversation, no matter what Owen answered.

"I won't change my mind." the doctor looked down at him.

"That's up to you," Jack shrugged. "But keep in mind that it is not just about you, Owen. Now go and make yourself useful because Ianto has been doing your work for days. I didn't give you sick leave as far as I remember."

Owen let out an annoyed sound before he marched out of the office.

T*O*R*C*H*W*O*O*D

"Pick a slice, Ianto!" Gwen encouraged the tea-boy, after she had opened the box on the table in front of her. She'd been sitting at her workstation for which seemed like a whole day, even if it was just a few hours and her stomach had been constantly rumbling for at least half of that time so in the end she was ready to consume anything digestible. The pizza Ianto delivered her looked extremely delicious, but she didn't want to be ill-mannered and fall on it alone, so she invited her young colleague to share it with her.

Although no matter how enthusiastic Gwen seemed ogling the tea-time food, its looks and smell were far from appetizing according to Ianto.

"No, thanks," he said, pushing his hands into his pockets. "I'm not hungry."

"You kidding me?" Gwen frowned, getting a slice out for herself, lifting it high, so she could tear the strings of the melted cheese and pull it free. "You barely touched your lunch, I was keeping an eye on you. You should be uber hungry by now. Is something wrong?"

She took a bite while she waited for Ianto's answer.

"I'm off my feed, that's all," Ianto shrugged. "I haven't been eating well since yesterday afternoon and what happened in the morning put me off completely."

He started rocking on his feet back and forth and with this suddenly he made the impression of a troubled ten-year old in Gwen's eyes. She was sure Ianto had more of a problem than his appetite, but of course she knew he wouldn't come out for her if he felt poorly – which she suspected was the situation right now –, because Ianto never ever complained.

"Yes, it was a rather terrific scene," so she went, instead of asking further questions that might have made him feel inconvenient. "Tosh is still on her computer?" she queried.

"Yep," Ianto said. "And Owen's dealing with the stuff up in the hothouse," he added.

"Jack?" was Gwen's next question, but the answer to it didn't come from Ianto.

"Jack is approaching your desk right now with the clear intention to steal this handsome man from you," Jack smiled as he came to a halt next to them.

"Would you feel like joining me for a walk, Ianto?" he put the question to him.

"Aye, Sir, that would be splendid," the boy nodded with a suddenly cheery face.

"Sorry, Gwen," Jack beamed, looking at her. "I win."

"Okay, so take him, he was boring me anyway," she smiled as he winked at Ianto. "Off you go! Enjoy yourselves!"

"Sure it's not a problem?" the Captain asked playfully. "I don't want to break your heart or anything…"

"Don't worry about me," Gwen smiled. "Frankly, all I need for company is this pizza right now..."

Jack nodded grinning, pushed on Ianto's back a little to make him move, and so in a second Gwen was left alone with her pizza without anyone near to distract her from eating it.


End file.
